Hoosier Chronicles

Sports Illustrated's Newest IU Cover

2012-01-13T09:05:00.000-05:00

Happy Holidays

2011-12-24T19:21:00.001-05:00

(click to enlarge)

For Steve and Lorri so loved Indiana they gave the Hoosiers their third begotten son.

2011-12-17T23:58:00.000-05:00

Remembering 1987

2011-12-04T11:03:00.000-05:00

#FF: Indiana High School Hoops

2011-12-02T14:09:00.001-05:00

Now that Indiana high school basketball is in full swing, here's a #FF list of some of my favorite follows for Hoosier high school (and some national/regional) hoops:
@KyleNeddenriep
@IndyHSHoops
@HickoryHusker
@ZachOsterman
@insidethehall
@peegs
@star_recruits
@JPPrice
@SeanMorrison
@jdemling
@JeffRabjohns
@JamieOwens
@INBBallSource
@HoosierHills
@INprepspotlight
@INBRecruits
@INrecruitguide
@ScoutingIndiana
@JGPrepsPlus
@HHR_Reamer
@HoosierScout
@TOCSportScores
@DaveTelep
@NDKendrick_RR
@3starmeyer
@EvanDanielscout
@BSnowScout
@ebosshoops
@AdamZagoria
@TheRecruitScoop
@SteveKellerNNR
@sphillipshoops
@highmajorscoop
@umhoops
@HoopsHall
@INbasketballmag
@indianaelite

All my love and respect to those who brave these cold, winter nights to bring us all the latest news and scores from across Indiana's high school gyms. Thanks for all you do, guys.

A Chronic #IUBB #FollowFriday List

2011-10-28T01:12:00.012-04:00

Your 2011-2012 Indiana Hoosiers
@TomCrean
@JordanHulls1
@czeller40
@IuCwat205
@D_Sol23
@VICICANFLY4IU
@CallMeMC3
@Vj3_217
@TPritchard25
@Austin13E
@KbZer0
@JHoward_24
@RthetruthS

TheMovement
@YogiFerrell11
@Jeremy152012
@Buss34
@hannerperea
@PeterJurkin42
@cwhartman27
@OhUdevin_uhYea
@TreyMambaLyles
@JBlackmon2

IU Athletics
@OurIndiana
@jfgray
@jlcromer
@IUShanaDan
@JBiuhoosiers
@KJatIU
@KKatIU
@rmsheets
@iucrimsonguard
@IUCrimsonClub
@IU_SAB
@iucompliance
@IUgcc

IU Media
@insidethehall
@DustinDopirak
@ZachOsterman
@Peegs
@kbikoff
@sean_morrison
@indystar_hutch
@JeffRabjohns
@Ryan_Kartje
@KyleNeddenriep
@pdiprimio
@dandakich
@rickbozich
@jdemling
@htograham
@crimsonquarry
@SWiltfong247
@EMagoni
@Wes_Scott
@MB_Weaver
@DoctorGC
@ryancorazza
@iam4iu42
@BTN_Indiana
@JamieOwens
@PerfectHoosiers
@CBSSportsIU

IU Student Media
@ids_sports
@IUSportcom
@WIUXSPORTS
@avi_zaleon
@crcronin
@kevin_bowen_ids
@cjogara
@stephkuzy
@DanKarell15
@ScottAgness
@tonyadragna
@JPCIV
@twhitaker24
@lcmayer32
@robbyhoward1
@jbrewers
@hoosiers43
@redzonewiux
@EveningSchmooze
@TheTallTrio
@SauceySports
@SportsWithTMD
@norms_and_jon

IU Bloggers & Such
@CrimsonCast
@JerodMorris
@AndyBottoms
@HoosierSource
@GlassWGCL
@LndnTrnrOvrdrve
@hwsnd
@Ivan_Renko
@BtownBanners
@VigilantSports
@hystericalIU

IUBB Alums
@theofficialEG10
@dj_white3
@ajguyton
@RoderickWilmont
@Earl_Calloway
@ErrekSuhr
@CoachDaneFife
@CoachMikeLewis
@IUGorilla

The Banners
@IU40Banner
@IU53Banner
@IU76Banner
@IU81Banner
@IU87Banner
@IU83Banner

The Fakes
@FakeFredGlass
@FakeCTC
@FakeTomCreanIU
@FakeCoachWilson
@FakeCoachEkeler
@FakeMarkDeal
@FakeKitKlingelh
@NotJeffRabjohns
@IUMopLadyMartha
@FakeDonFischer
@TijansLiger
@Fake_IU_Gorilla
@SteveTheIUBison

The Hugh Kellenberger Exit Interview

2011-09-15T10:16:00.000-04:00

Wherein Hugh & I spend a couple hours at Nick's,

knock back some pitchers, and discuss his days in B-town

The Grove, Rowan Oak, the bbq, and now Hugh and his family.

Yeah, good things are going on.

D'Angelo Roberts Gives UVA's Corey Mosley A Dirt Nap

2011-09-15T09:13:00.000-04:00

Somewhere, Smokey is clowning.

Kevin Wilson: He Keeps It Real

2011-08-11T15:39:00.000-04:00

Galen & I Chat About ESPN's OTL Piece On A.H.O.P.E./Indiana Elite/Mark Adams/IU

2011-05-27T08:27:00.004-04:00

No video this time, just click on the player bar below.

The Official Remix of #TheMovement

2011-05-15T23:16:00.001-04:00

I think I recognize some of the clip art.

h/t ndfan2

Hanner Perea Treats Rims Like Chris Brown Treats His Girlfriends

2011-05-15T13:43:00.005-04:00

In 38 other states, what Hanner does to rims is considered felony abuse. Fortunately, Indiana is not one of those states.

You may need a moist towelette before this is done...

2011-05-12T15:13:00.000-04:00

Chronic's Cocktail Hour with Greg & Nathan

2011-05-11T19:23:00.000-04:00

My conversation with former IDS writers and recent IU graduates Greg Rosenstein and Nathan Hart.

Chronic's Cocktail Hour with Greg & Nathan from Chronic Hoosier on Vimeo.

Chronic's Cocktail Hour with Dustin & Galen

2011-04-28T20:01:00.000-04:00

Untitled from Chronic Hoosier on Vimeo.

Petey's Journey To The Island Of Misfit Mascots

2011-04-14T10:48:00.001-04:00

As you may have heard by now, new Purdue Pete didn't last so long in West Laffatthat.

Despite spending over a year engineering a mascot makeover that would no longer scare the shit out of young Boiler fans, Morgan Burke & Co. (d/b/a FailTrain, Inc.,) kept their hot hand going (read: continued fucking up miserably at their jobs) and unveiled the new Purdue Pete at their spring game.

Needless to say, he was fired after one day on the job......on his day off.

The Hoosier Chronicles has obtained exclusive images showing the moments New Petey made his fatal misstep and later arriving in his new home.

Like most Purdue guys, women took to new Pete like vagina repellent.

Pete's arrival on the Island of Misfit Mascots.

Indiana Mr. Basketball & IU

2011-04-10T08:08:00.004-04:00

With today's announcement, Cody Zeller becomes the 26th Indiana Mr. Basketball winner to play for the Hoosiers.

Some Indiana Mr. Basketball facts:

IU has had 30% more Indiana Mr. Basketball winners (26) than all other in-state schools combined (20): Purdue-10, Notre Dame- 2, Butler- 2, Evansville-2, Anderson-1, Ball State-1, Indiana Central- 1, Valparaiso- 1.
In the 72 years since the honor was first awarded, only 10 IU rosters have lacked an Indiana Mr. Basketball winner.
When Cody joins Jordy Hulls in Bloomington this fall, they will represent the 13th time multiple Indiana Mr. Basketball winners have teamed up at IU: Hulls/Zeller, Gordon/Ratliff, Coverdale/Jeffries, Bailey/Graham, Graham/Jones, Edwards/Jones, Alford/Brooks, Bouchie/Tolbert, McGinnis/Shepherd, Van Arsdale/Van Arsdale, Rayl/Van Arsdale/Van Arsdale, Garrett/Masters, Garrett/Masters/Schwartz.
Cody is Washington High School's 4th Mr. Basketball winner (3 of them were named Zeller; Bouchie was the 1st), tying the Hatchets with Marion and Anderson for the most winners from any high school.
Approxamately 38% of all Indiana Mr. Basketball winners have played for IU.
Purdue has only had 10 Indiana Mr. Basketball winners, with Glenn Robinson being the most recent- 20 years ago.
IU has now had 7 Indiana Mr. Basketball winners since the Big Dog went to Purdue
Historically, 44.4% of all Indiana Mr. Basketball winners have left the state to play in college. That number has dropped to 33% since Tom Crean took over at IU. It will likely drop to 25% next year with Yogi, Patterson, Hollowell, and Perea in the mix for Indiana's top high school basketball honor.

List of Indiana Mr. Basketball Winners At IU:

2011-Cody Zeller, Washington

2009- Jordan Hulls, Bloomington South

2007- Eric Gordon, North Central

2004 - A.J. Ratliff, North Central

2000 - Jared Jeffries, Bloomington North

1998 - Tom Coverdale, Noblesville

1997 - Luke Recker, DeKalb

1990 - Damon Bailey, Bedford North Lawrence

1989 - Pat Graham, Floyd Central

1987 - (tie) Jay Edwards and Lyndon Jones, Marion

1984 - Delray Brooks, Michigan City Rogers

1983 - Steve Alford, New Castle

1979 - Steve Bouchie, Washington

1977 - Ray Tolbert, Anderson Madison Heights

1973 - Kent Benson, New Castle

1970 - Dave Shepherd, Carmel

1969 - George McGinnis, Indianapolis Washington

1961 - (tie) Tom and Dick VanArsdale, Indianapolis Manual

1959 - Jimmy Rayl, Kokomo

1953 - Hallie Bryant, Indianapolis Attucks

1948 - Bob Masters, Lafayette Jeff

1947 - Bill Garrett, Shelbyville

1945 - Tom Schwartz, Kokomo

1940- Ed Scheinbein, Southport

FAIL Has A New Face

2011-04-09T13:48:00.001-04:00

After years of terrorizing children with his hard plastic face, rapist's grin, and lustful gaze, Purdue University decided it was time to give their beloved mascot, Purdue Pete, a make-over.

And despite the University's ~~usual bumblefucking~~ inadvertent leaking of new Pete's image earlier in the week, ~~thousands~~ ~~hundreds~~ dozens of Boiler fans showed up at Ross-Ade Stadium today to witness the ceremonial passing of the hammer to the newest conductor of the Fail Train. (Apparently, however, Petey's hammer isn't making the transition. Cue fucktarded facebook group.)

In honor of Pete's continued metamorphosis, let's look back at the many faces of failure:

Tom Davis Just Doesn't Fucking Get It

2011-03-28T11:54:00.000-04:00

Day 3 of the Tom Davis shitshow is upon us.

Since I last posted yesterday, Tom has continued to express his disbelief about how his "simple tweet" could cause such a stir.(Actually, Tom, it's several tweets, and they're just not that simple).

Judging from his timeline, he's "endured" a rather unpleasant experience since he told not 1 but 2 committed/signed high school basketball players where to play on Saturday, people have contacted his boss about having him fired, and he generally just doesn't understand what could be so wrong with sending a "tweet" to high school boys.

And I still don't know what to make of this guy. Is his lack of understanding related to the fact that his inappropriate messages were sent via Twitter? Because for some reason he feels the need to place quotation marks around the word "Tweet" every time he uses it. I can only assume he either doesn't feel what he says on his Twitter account should reflect on his professional reputation, or that he just doesn't think words should matter... this coming from a newsman.

Either way, it's pretty shocking that a sports editor at a respected newspaper in Indiana's 2nd largest city continues to miss the point about his suggesting on Twitter where Hartman & Crisman should play college basketball.

The fact is, I expect more from IU freshmen, no matter how drunken they are or how passionately they may feel about their beloved program, than to contact any recruits and tell them where to play ball.

For a man in Tom's position to do so- and to recommend the two particular schools in which he did (Butler, his alma mater & IPFW, his paper's hometown college team)- is beyond the pale. (btw- I'm sure Dane Fife loved being included in the Crisman message.)

But this guy just doesn't fucking seem to get it. He doesn't understand why people think it's wrong for a journalist to tell kids where they should attend college, regardless of the fact that: a) they've already decided, b) he's admitted they likely don't give a shit about what he says, c) his doing so presents significant professional conflicts, d) he used social media- an indelible message forum for all the world to see, and e) that the public generally tends to hold its media members to higher standards.

And while he may quip about his dog being killed if Colin Hartman ever decides to de-commit from IU, I would suggest to Tom that the greatest threat to his well-being at the moment is his own ignorance.

Because if Tom Davis doesn't get why people are holding him accountable for his actions, then there's no telling what other stupid shit he might do to endanger his own career.

Here's a suggestion for Tom: if you want to be a journalist, take off your fan hat, practice some professional ethics, and, most importantly, own up to your mistakes.

If you want to continue to say stupid shit without being held accountable for your words, quit pretending to be a newsman, find another job, and start your own blog under a pseudonym. You can tweet while intoxicated and say all the retarded stuff you want without people trying to get you fired.

After all, the latter works for this guy, right?

Ethics In Journalism and NCAA Violations: What They Don't Teach You At Butler

2011-03-27T16:40:00.025-04:00

Most sports editors are well-versed in sports and writing.

They are also supposed to be skilled in other journalistic matters such as objectivity, ethics, and, perhaps, those pesky little issues surrounding prospective NCAA student-athletes.

Enter Tom Davis, Sports Editor at the Fort Wayne News-Sentinel.

Last night, during the IHSAA 4A title game, our guy Tom (a proud Butler alum) decided to Tweet 2013 commit Colin Hartman about his choice in colleges.

Did I mention Tom is a Butler alum and the sports editor at the News-Sentinel? Because I spent the better part of my drive back home thinking about how someone in his position could be so stupid. It's just crazy stupid, right?

Thus, I woke up this morning fully expecting to see that Tom had either deleted his Tweet or, at the very least, apologized for it.

Well, I guess I just don't know Tom, because this is how he responded.

So, I guess that's one way to respond to sticking your foot in your mouth....by pushing it even deeper til it starts coming out your ass.

The guy had every chance to come up with some excuse, any excuse, to justify his unprofessional (and possibly NCAA infringing) comments: my teen-aged daughter hacked my account, I was drinking on prescription meds, I have mild Tourette Syndrome, anything!

Nah. Tom decided to discount the impact of his comments and then went on to patronize the offended IU fans.

I probably wouldn't have taken that approach. His timeline today supports this conclusion (and explains his recent silence).

And just when you thought the tomfoolery had reached its peak, I happened to see Colin wasn't the only committed recruit to which Tom offered up his advice to yesterday:

The @Crisman01 would be Joe Crisman, a senior shooting guard from Munster who's currently ~~committed~~ signed to Loyla (IL).

The @CoachDaneFife, well, you probably know who he is already. That'd be the same Coach Dane Fife of the IPFW Mastodons Men's Basketball team...the hometown college team covered by Tom Davis' Fort Wayne News-Sentinel.

So, yeah, there's a pattern emerging about Tom's eagerness to advise high school boys on where to play basketball, preferably at teams in which Tom Davis has a vested interest in.

Something tells me this whole thing doesn't turn out too well for poor Tom.

At best, his comments were highly unprofessional and thoroughly indefensible from a member of the print media, no less an editor. At worst, they constitute NCAA infractions and could cost him his job, possibly editorial career.

As always, I welcome your comments and insights, but I'm going to take a stab and say you'd probably rather direct them towards the people to which Mr. Davis is accountable.

Let me help you out with that:

Kerry Hubartt, Editor, The News-Sentinel, 260-461-8239, khubartt@news-sentinel.com

Michael Christman, Fort Wayne Newspapers CEO & President, 260-461-8324, mchristman@fwn.fortwayne.com

P.S. I told you, Tom. You were warned about #TheMovement.

Step to the Movement

2011-03-26T11:13:00.000-04:00

As I prepare to make my hoops pilgrimage to the IHSAA State Finals, I'm wishing I'd have made a shirt to rep #TheMovement today.

Tom Crean's Pimp Hand Remains Strong

2011-03-24T15:36:00.000-04:00

Liger Blood: It Fuels The Movement

2011-03-24T10:20:00.000-04:00

Consider Yourself Warned

2011-03-24T08:34:00.001-04:00

#TheMovement Is Building...

2011-03-22T20:57:00.000-04:00

To all my little Jeremaniacs, say your prayers, take your vitamins and you will never go wrong. -Tom Crean

All Aboard!

2011-03-18T17:44:00.004-04:00

Well, what do you know? It's March, and Petey's talking some shit with IU left out of the big dance for the 3rd straight year.

But for all the smack coming from W. Laffatthat about Purdue's recent success and IU's "dusty banners," let's take just a brief look at Purdue's NCAA tournament history before the Fail Train leaves the station later tonight:

Purdue remains tied for the nation's longest NCAA Men's Basketball Championship draught: 71 yrs & counting.
Purdue is tied for 8th place among teams with the most NCAA appearances without a championship: 24 tournament appearances.
It's been 42 years since the Boilermakers' only national championship appearance in 1969- a loss, of course.
Purdue has made it to the Final Four only twice, most recently in 1980. Since that time, IU has made twice as many Final Four appearances and won 2 national championships.
The black & gold have 20% less Elite 8 appearances (4) than IU has national championships (5); IU has 11 Elite 8 appearances.
The Boilers have 9 Sweet 16 appearances compared to IU's 19.
JaJuan Johnson is Purdue's 24th All American. IU has produced 75% more All Americans (42).
JJ also marks Purdue's 3rd Big 10 POY. IU has produced that many in the last decade (Haston, Jeffries, and White) and 600% more B1G POY's overall (18).
By the time Purdue made its 1st NCAA tournament appearance (1969), IU had already won 2 championships.
As tumultuous as the past decade has been for the Hoosiers, IU and Purdue have both been to the big dance 7 times each since 2000.

So, there's a little statistical perspective about Purdue's tournament success (or lacktherof). Nonetheless, there's still plenty of room available on the Fail Train before its traditional March derailment, sign up below.

Boiler Application

We'll see you fuckers next year. #BannersBitches

Chronic's March Sadness Bracket Challenge

2011-03-13T22:29:00.001-04:00

Just because the Season on the Drink has come to an end doesn't mean the party is over.

It's March in Bloomington and that can only mean 2 things: watching basketball & drinking.

I like basketball & drinking. I'm guessing you do, too.

Thus, I've created the IU March Sadness Bracket Challenge to help facilitate a more enjoyable Hoosier-less tournament experience.

The rules are simple:
1)Visit ESPN's Tournament Challenge page: http://games.espn.go.com/tcmen/en/frontpage
2) Register & enter group name: "IU March Sadness"
3) Password: "Tijan"
4)Complete & save your bracket
5)Winner receives an autographed bottle of the Nectar of the Gods at the completion of the tournament*.
*Winner must verify legal drinking age to receive the goodness (otherwise minors receive cash equivalent) and live within the continental US (I'm not spending $30 to ship a $20 bottle to Tokyo- as badly as it might be needed now).

Good luck.

Chronic's Cocktail Hour with Dustin, Hugh, Greg, & Nathan

2011-03-07T22:16:00.002-05:00

What happens when you take four respected members of the IU basketball beat, tuck them in a back room at Yogi's Bar & Grill, and allow me to force alcohol and IU hoops conversation upon them?

This edition of Chronic's Cocktail Hour is what happens.

Now, what happens when you entrust me to properly record and preserve said conversation?

Well.....maybe the first 30 minutes of audio disappear when my piece of shit recorder times-out without auto-saving fucking happens. Oh. Shit. (Sorry, guys.)

So, whaddya miss? Some really good stuff, unfortunately. The HT's Dustin Dopirak & Hugh Kellenberger, the IDS' Greg Rosenstein & Nathan Hart, and I discussed what this team is lacking (trust/leadership/toughness/effort/accountability) and whether and how IU gets it back.

The recorded portion of the conversation picks up as Nathan concludes, and Hugh continues, speaking about Crean holding players accountable with playing time.

Voices in order of appearance: N. Hart, H. Kellenberger, C. Hoosier, G Rosenstein, D. Dopirak.

So, yeah. I'm the worst podcast engineer ever. Proven it. Twice now. (I blame none of this on Jameson.)

Everything else I blame on trust and accountability. Cheers, bitches.

2 Thoughts to Start Your Gameday:

2011-02-23T08:42:00.000-05:00

Chronic's Cocktail Hour with Dustin Dopirak

2011-02-13T16:13:00.000-05:00

Wherein I get shitfaced while Dustin talks IU.

A Public Serice Announcement

2011-02-08T15:48:00.000-05:00

Carry on.

So You Wanna Be A Boiler?

2011-02-07T21:16:00.003-05:00

On the heels of their 2nd consecutive sweet sixteen appearance, ~~98% of all douchebags~~ an increasing number of people have expressed interest in becoming Boilermaker fans.

However, having previously experienced the chaos of a rapidly evacuating bandwagon, Purdue is attempting to create a more orderly manner in which its fans may assign, and soon retract, their loyalties to the black and gold. Thus, Purdue is implementing an official fan admission process, wherein all new fans are required to submit the application form found below.
Boiler Application

Do with this information what you will, but by no means would I ever want you to complete this document and mail it to the Paint Crew or Matt Painter, or use the remaining balance of your IU copy card to print hundreds of these forms for distribution around the West Lafayette campus tomorrow afternoon. Those would all be very, very bad ideas, and I expressly condemn your acting upon them.

The Pritch Slap vs. The Sheebag

2011-02-06T10:58:00.003-05:00

On a week when multiple winter storms pounded Assembly Hall's exterior, even the gym's newly repaired roof couldn't protect the rims from the awe-casian thunder unleashed upon them by Tom Pritchard & Will Sheehey.

Both dunks were featured as Sports Center's #1 Top Play (although #ThePritch's was bumped to #3 the following morning- wtf?). Both dunks blew the roof off the Hall and brought the fans and players, alike, to their feet in amazed disbelief at the sheer nastiness of both slams.

So, let the debate begin. Which dunk was the nastiest? Let's review:

Talk about a tough call.

On the one hand, Pritchard's dunk was as amazing as it was improbable. Seriously. The Pritch: a) crashed the lane with purpose; b) jumped that high; c) was able to pull the ball back from that far behind his head; & d) finished it off with authority, despite taking moderate contact on the finish. Thanks for playing, Ralph Sampson III, you just got Pritch Slapped.

On the other hand, Will's tomahonkey was entirely beastly and completely self-made. Will starts by ball-faking Eric May into a statute 23' from the hoop. He then slashes into the paint and, by the time he reaches the elbow, he's clearly resolved to take it strong to the rack. Once Basabe rotates over and challenges the dunk, well, he gets Sheebagged in the worst way.

Tom dropped Victor's jaw & blew a little girl's mind. Will put his junk all up in Basabe's flavor & elicited an "Oh. My. God." from Elston on the bench. Tom reminded Verdell of MJ's martian escapades, while Will reminded me of another Hoosier who's proficient at tomafucking the rim.

So, there you have it. A double-shot of vanilla funk to start your Super Bowl Sunday morning. What say you? Which was the better dunk?

Some Non-Conference Numbers

2010-12-27T13:58:00.002-05:00

After going bust in Vegas, the Hoosiers headed home for a 3-day respite before the commencement of conference play tonight.

Now that we've closed the book on the non-conference portion of IU's schedule, let's take a look at a couple of points of interest about the season-to-date:

IU's assist to turnover ratio is -.005 (198 A's-199 TO's). That's not good. Considering the fairly soft strength of schedule IU has faced, it's disconcerting to still see the persistent bumblefuckedness with the ball in Crean's 3rd season.
Speaking of shitfingers, let's look at the primary ball handlers individual assist to turnover ratio: VJ3 41-48 (-.170); Jordy 41-19 (+2.157); Rivers 20-19 (+.052); & Danny Boy 12-7 (+1.714). So, yeah, Verdell has more TO's than Hulls, Rivers, & Moore combined. Sheesh.
Maurice Creek is shooting 39.2% from the field this season, more than 7% worse than any other scholarship player. Mo has also missed almost as many 3-pointers (44) as Hulls has attempted (48). The Hoosiers desperately need Mo to find his mojo...and quickly.
Tom Pritchard is averaging 1.6 pts/gm, 3.8rb/gm, and shooting 10% from the charity stripe. Sure, he's 2nd on the team in boards (despite ranking 7th in total minutes), has an assist to turnover ratio of +1.375, and has more than twice as many blocks as the next 2 closest players combined, but c'mon man. 1 for 10 and 1.5 shots attempted per game?! It's time for Big Tom to find his o-face. (And if I were Crean, I'd make him shoot FT's underhanded in games until he can hit 50 out of 100 in practice. Just saying.)
Victor Oh-lah-dipho leads IU in steals (20), is 2nd in rebounds (53), 3rd in fga (.559), but is 6th in minutes. Though he turns it over almost 50% more than he dishes assists, he's proven to be a reliable 6th/7th man off the bench, especially as a freshman. However, with his 48.3% shooting from the line, I suggest Vic try dunking it next time he steps up to the stripe.

So, there you have it. A couple statistical observations at the onset of Big 10 play. It's been a bumpy December, but I guess there's worse ways to kick off conference play than hosting Penn St. in Assembly Hall. Nonetheless, it's time to find some consistency- at all spots not otherwise played by Christian Watford- if IU is going to have any kind of a chance of finishing +.500. Value the ball, harvest some W's. Leggo!

Coffee & KenPom

2010-12-19T09:17:00.000-05:00

(Or whatever Don Fischer says his name should be.)

There's nothing quite like the silent illumination of Sunday mornings spent enjoying Sumatran coffee and the Sunday papers before the rest of the house begins to stir.

I've always taken great joy in the opportunity to consume copious amounts of bold, black java while quietly taking up pageloads of information before my snot-dripping tornadoes are unleashed about the house again.

This morning provided one of those wonderful moments of peaceful reading when I happened upon Ken Pomeroy's Indiana statistics and noticed.....OH...MY...GAWD.

JORDAN HULLS CURRENTLY RANKS 2ND IN THE NATION IN EFFECTIVE FIELD GOAL PERCENTAGE!!! Oh, and he's rated the 44th most efficient offensive player in the nation (both as of Ken's last-updated individual stats- 12/12/10).

That just peeled my eyes open like a pot of coffee before sunrise.

Wow. Talk about slam shifting your brain into drive on a gameday morning.

If you can't believe how such an offensive performance could fly under the radar amidst this season's noteworthy developments, it's probably because Jordy has thus far only accounted for just about 10% of IU's total field goals attempted (53-532).

With an effective TO rate of 22.5%, compared to Jones' 30.6% & Rivers' 39.7%, we can hopefully expect to see increased doses of #1 liberally applied to the rotation as the season progresses.

Also of note in this morning's numbers:

-IU remains in the bottom 16.5 percentile of experience, yet has rapidly improved to become the 10th ranked most offensively efficient team & the 26th ranked on defensive efficiency. Think about that for a second. After the last two seasons of...well, you know what, that just blew your mind.

Sure, we're still turning the ball over at a pretty high clip against a soft strength of schedule so far, but there's no denying the year-to-year improvement is off the charts.

Yeah, there's also that thing about our opponents headed to the line on almost 1/2 of their possessions, putting IU in the bottom 10% in the nation in that category. But hey, if you ain't foulin', you ain't trying. Right?

-Big Tom is 26th in the nation in block % & 143rd in offensive rebounding %.

-Vic the quick ranks 27th in the nation in steal %.

-Jeremiah Rivers leads all players in ft%: .875!!! Ha!

While you sip on those stats, I'm off to Uptown for a Popeye omelette and some more coffee. See you at the game later today.

Season's Greetings From The Hoosier Chronicles

2010-12-18T20:08:00.004-05:00

Because an envelope can only hold so much awesomeness,
holiday cheers, bitches.

A Public Service Announcement

2010-11-26T23:01:00.000-05:00

Carry on.

Sunday Night Chat After-Party

2010-11-14T20:08:00.004-05:00

I think it's time to light a new joint after the game and pass around an endgame chat while the other chat hosts punch out tomorrow's copy. Get ready to hit it.

The After-Party

Zellerpalooza Chat

2010-11-10T23:33:00.000-05:00

I'm drunk. It's Zellerpalooza eve. Let's talk.

Tijan & His Liger: A Gallery of Awesome

2010-10-12T08:56:00.001-04:00

So...I'm in the process of revamping the blog and likely having some t-shirts made. And while brainstorming ideas for the Tijan & his liger shirt, I had to indulge myself in the images found below. You're welcome.

IU's most recognizable icons.

Still trying to figure out how Cigar Guy got all the attention in this one.

Because neon green-clad stormtroopers aren't nearly scary enough.

Can you guess which two should not be banned from breeding?

I dare those vandals to try and steal the handles now.

3 days of peace, love, & Tijan.

All the drugs in the world could never make Elvis feel as good as he did this day.

What a long, strange trip it was.

You got knocked the fuck out....with AWESOMENESS!

Where's Tijan?

Killing the Messengers: the IU Media Challenge

2010-10-06T08:17:00.004-04:00

It appears the good folks in IU Media Relations misunderstood my suggestion that press credentials be issued based on the results of a hot dog eating contest. Instead, they decided to take 25 members of the IU basketball media and subject them to "Survivor-Crean and Crimson Media Challenge."

While it's clear to this observer that by naming this a "survivor challenge," athletics implicitly intends for a majority of the participants not to survive. Nonetheless, willing participants lined up at the chance to have Je'Ney Jackson kick their ass and humiliate them in front of their peers.
So, let's take a look at the events, handicap the participants, and vote on the most likely outcomes.

Editor's Note- injured participants should not hesitate to take full advantage of the mystical healing powers of Cook Hall's hot tub after the competition. Lest any of you forget, Tijan soaked his balls in it.

12:30 WELCOME
12:45 WARM UP
12:55 TESTING
• ¾ COURT SPRINT
• VERTICAL JUMP
• CORE STRENGTH
• BENCH PRESS 185# or 95#
1:15 AGILITIES
• 5-10-5
• CONE DRILLS
1:30 STRENGTH CIRCUIT
1:50 STADIUM STAIRS
2:15 OBSTACLE COURSE
• TIRE FLIPS
• BOARD PUSH
• SLED PULL
• FARMER’S WALK
• SLED PUSH
2:30 YOGA
2:45 Awards

Point Guards
Dustin Dopirak Herald Times M, M
Greg Rosenstein IDS M,M
Pete Diprimio Ft. Wayne NS M,M
Rick Pizzo BTN L,L
Ann Marie Tiernon WTHR-TV M, S

Shooting Guards
Dave Furst WRTV XL, XL
Lamond Pope Ft. Wayne JG L, L
JMV 1070 The Fan XL, L
Lynn Houser Herald Times L,L
Nathan Hart IDS M, M

Small Forwards
Jeremy Gray Tom Crean Show XL, L
Chris Widlic WISH TV L, L
Courtney Cronin IUSTV M, M
Kent Sterling Kent Sterling.com L, M
Hugh Kellenberger Herald Times XL, L

Power Forwards
Chris Hagan WXIN-TV XL, XL
Ken Bikoff Inside Indiana XXXL, XXXL
Brooke Oak IU Athletics S, S
Ryan Winn IDS L, L
Jeff Rabjohns Indy Star XL, L

Centers
Terry Hutchens Indy Star XXL, XXL
Mike Pegram Peegs.com XL,L
Casey Richards IUSTV M, M
Rick Bozich Courier Journal XXL, XL
Pat Forde ESPN.com XL, L

Head Coach
J.D. Campbell IU Athletics XXL, XL

Which Team is Least Likely to Lose

# of Participants Requiring Medical Attention

Who Uses the Most Immunity Passes?

What's the REAL purpose for this event?

The Chris Korman Exit Interview

2010-10-02T11:17:00.003-04:00

After having pestered him for the better part of his four years at the Herald-Times, Chris Korman graciously agreed to sit down with me at Nick's several weeks ago and provided the Hoosier Chronicles with its first interview. As luck would have it, the day was Friday the 13th. As I would have it, we laughed heartily, drank heavily, and talked Hoosiers over the course of an entire afternoon- Korman's last afternoon working for the H-T.

Why do you hate Bloomington?
(Laughter) Ah, man, I absolutely do not hate Bloomington. That is definitely a falsehood. Dustin and I are two Penn State guys from State College, and I think he would probably agree, I know I definitely feel that Bloomington has such a better vibe. It's got the little Midwest thing to it. It's got a little bit of the southern thing to it. You know, it's like I talked a little bit about on the chat the other day, it's this stuck in the middle place. And then it hates both of those things, too. It's like "We're Bloomington. We're totally different.
We're artistic, but we're also rustic, and we're who we are, you know?" I think it's just fabulous.
Dustin and I came here in 2002 for a football game to cover Penn State...
How badly did you beat us?
That was the game Larry Johnson ran for 324 yards...on a sand field. This was before they had turf at Memorial Stadium.  So the field was literally sand spray painted green. So we were here and it was this totally different place for us. So when I got a chance to bring him out for an interview, we just laughed and laughed about that trip. We'd stayed at the Fourwinds that trip. That's where Paterno had the team staying. We always just booked our room with the team, in the same hotel where they were staying. So, it's November 15th, or whatever, and it's like 12 degrees outside, and we're in a hotel that's got bamboo walls and everyone's wearing Hawiian shirts. We had to go buy beer at this, you know, just banjo playing gas station somewhere.  I ran from the car to the door just to go get this beer.
Sounds like Smithville.
Yeah, I was worried. And ever since then I just thought it was a town with a soul, much more than all the...you know we got to all the Big Ten towns. You know Madison is a great town, great place, beautiful place, a little more urban. East Lansing is sort of blah. Champaign is sort of like, eh, you know. And even State College compared to Bloomington. Obviously, I spent a different time of my life here, but I'm really fond of Bloomington. You know, 4th St. is right over there, and it's so diverse and so interesting. It's just the people you meet here. So, I love Bloomington.   I'll come back.

Are you aware that the Irsay family established a clear and proven road to success, and that's actually a one-way road from Baltimore to Indiana? What makes you think you can swim upstream, against the current of success and succeed it in Baltimore?
(Laughter) That's a great question. Uh, I don't know. I'm just going to be glad that I can get Yuengling, which is the beer I grew up on, from the time I was 15. You know the river that they take the water from runs right by my house. When I grew up I built tree forts next to the river...
So I know where to pee when I visit.
..we did too, so it was always an awkward thing...
Proves my green bottle rule: all green bottles are full of piss water.
It's just being closer to home. I don't know....I don't know if I'll be any better. I hope so. I hope we make it.

So, in your new job you're going to be the Sunday Sports Editor, something about the Toy Department, and the Enterprise Editor.
Right.
What exactly is the Enterprise Editor, and when you sit at that desk are you required to wear the Captain Kirk Starfleet uniform?
Um...yes...I just sit there like this (strikes a pose) and hail people, or whatever Capt. Picard or Kirk or whoever they are would do. Enterprise is a fancy journalism word, and it's ridiculous, for doing work that isn't easy to get, that's sort of what I determined.  Enterprise is.. the word "enterprising" in general means doing something new, you're creating something, you're an entrepreneur sort of, you have new ideas. And so that's sort of enterprise journalism. It's a lot of profiles. We're going to go beyond John Harbaugh being Tom Crean's brother-in-law...
(We're interrupted by a steady stream of well-wishers. I come to believe Korman should run for Mayor of this town. I realize I should be writing a book about the people you see and the stories you hear in Nick's- it'd be fucking amazing.)
So...it's about John Harbaugh, but it's more than just he was at the Eagles, and then blah,blah. I mean we're going to talk to the kid he knew in 3rd grade. We're going to dig really deep. It's investigative. We're going to request budget information from all the ACC schools and compare them. It's just in-depth work. It's what I studied at Columbia. When I was at Columbia I actually majored in magazine writing and did more of that sort of studying, rather than going to write a game story or going to write a daily story. So it's a little bit of a return to what I thought I'd be doing after I covered a beat day-by-day. I thought it was important to cover a beat and get that on the ground experience and be in the thick of it. But now I'm sort of removing myself a little bit and taking a bigger view.

Since you mentioned it, you have a masters from Columbia. Pretty prestigious university. Penn State's no slouch either. Did you ever imagine you'd graduate from Columbia to go on to stalk teenagers for a living or be forced to converse with guys like 4guards? I mean, in your new job are you going to be expected to stalk teenagers?
Uhhh, (laughter) you know, I really think that both of those things will be amped up in my new position. It's...
You're going to be an uber-stalker?
Yes. They have a recruiting blog that's pretty well respected on the east coast. It's run by a Michigan guy, actually, a guy named Matt Bracken who's been doing it for a while and has a good name among those programs who, you know we talked about it earlier, those programs outside of D.C. which have produced Maurice Creek, among others, Kevin Durant. It's really a hotbed of basketball. So he's covered that well. Baltimore has Carmelo Anthony and many other guys.   So there will be a recruiting blog, and I'm sure I'll take part. We joke, you know, it's crack. Covering recruiting is, you go to some shady gym somewhere or some gym in the middle of a cornfield. The first time I ever saw Cody Zeller I drove through corn for 25 minutes to see some gawky white kid, who was probably 6'6" then, and could barely walk. But just the excitement you felt about going to see a kid who's going to be a pretty good basketball player, and everybody's known it for a long time. But the same deal, you know we've gone up to Indy, and we're in this part of Indy where maybe you don't want to park your car, but there's a kid here who's been on the playground every day since he was 7, and he's killing it. That stuff's exciting. It's still true then. You know a lot of the stuff we do with the recruits if awful. We call and ask "what's your list?" As if human decisions can come down to a list. As if everybody is "oh, I'm 20% on this and 20% on that." All that stuff is just ridiculous. You know Rivals and Scout have done a good job of covering recruiting. And recruiting is so necessary to coverage. It's ridiculous that newspapers abdicated it for so long. Recruiting is...if Tom Crean gets fired, if Tom Crean is gone in 3 years, it's because what he did today. It's not because what he did in 3 years from now. It's because he would have recruited the wrong guys today, made the wrong pitch to whoever. I mean, that's the game. Especially in basketball, you've gotta have players. So the fact that newspapers didn't do it for so long is absurd. It was important for Rivals and Scout to bring it to the forefront... and make profit off it. They made lot of profit off it. But important to also make us realize this is something that we should be doing because people care and it is important.  A lot of those guys...you know Mike Pegram, who I consider a friend and a great guy and a great business man, he is a guy who's been really successful, but he's not a journalist. And he would admit that. He has an M.B.A. from Florida and graduated from IU. He was a swimmer here and an accounting major. His whole thing is not journalism. But if you're a journalist, and you see what he's produced and the knowledge he has about IU basketball over the time he's been around it, you envy it. He understands, a lot better than anybody, what went into why Bob Knight struggled, why Mike Davis struggled, what caused Kelvin Sampson to do the things he did that got him fired. I mean what Kelvin did, that whole thing was about recruiting and about what you do to have a little bit of a step up. That's what destroyed Indiana. And Mike Pegram understands that better than anybody. Nobody gets it as much as Mike Pegram. So they reminded and informed us about why that was so important. So it's really important that we did that and jumped on recruiting. And there's really no turning back now. It's just trying to be a little more sophisticated about it, a little more honest about it.  You know our newspaper charges money for subscriptions, but a lot of newspapers let you get that stuff online for free, so it's still just a journalistic thing. And how do we cover it journalistically and still be very honest about it and cover those kids. And it's an honest moment when you go to a tournament and some kid explodes. You can envision him being so good. How many people have we watched at the May Classic? It's been Derek Rose, O.J. Mayo, Watford...all these guys have been there. DeAndre Jordan, you know, guys in the league. And just to see them at that young age is a thrill. It's just a real thrill.
So you're an enthusiastic stalker?
Yes!

On the subject of stalkers, are you or are you not stalking the Harbaugh family?
Well, you know, I'm still waiting for Tom Crean to set me up with a dinner with the Harbaughs. Go over there and hang out...
Have you already applied to the newspapers in Stanford or Palo Alto? You got an app on file out there?
When I interned at my hometown paper, The Reading Eagle, I went and covered Eagles camp, and the story I wrote is "right now John Harbaugh is a special team coach, but he hopes someday to be something more." He had made his career up to that point as this terrific special teams guys, which is sort of like being the guy who only pours the Jager at the bar. You're just doing one part of something. People thought he was a bright mind and an interesting guy and obviously knew the family ties, but he had just not gotten that chance yet. And later the Eagles did move him, and he rapidly went to where he wanted to be. But I did write that story, and I do feel this sort of strange symmetry, a sort of interesting connection with them. I'm anxious to meet him and tell him how well I know Tom, and see what he says about Tom, see if I can get him to be candid about just how crazy Tom is at Thanksgiving dinner or whatever. They say they don't get together too often, but I'm sure that they've been together in a room and what that conversation must be like with 3, not just 3 current, but a father, too, who is coach. Because coaches love to talk shop, and they love to have their version of shop be the one that's shouted loudest. I'd love to have that conversation and find out what they think and what they've learned about. And the different sports, how different could football be from basketball, but I'm sure that they've found common ground. So I'd love to have that conversation with them. But, yeah, I'm stalking them.
You are stalking the Harbaughs. I'll tell Jack to fill the restraining order tomorrow.

So, crabs. I've seen many times how crabs have been a big draw for you to the Baltimore area.
Yeah, man.
You're a fan of crabs?
You know, you gotta love any time you can grab some crabs after a long night, that's good.
Are you familiar with a place on north Walnut Ave. called Kilroy's Sports?
Yes.
I've been told they harvest more crabs there than tin he north artic sea.
I've seen video of that. They had it on Deadspin, I believe. They had two people exchanging crabs on the bathroom floor.

So, you're going to Baltimore. It's a pretty violent city. Are you taking any special precautions knowing you'll be living in the same city as Ray Lewis?
Uh...
He kills people. You know this, right?
Here's the crazy thing, there are other people in Baltimore who kill people, too.
Lot's of them. I believe they made a television series based on that unique attribute.
You know, I log on to my future homepage and try to see where the latest stabbing was. There was a story recently of a kid who just got off a train and was using his iPhone, probably using some great app or something, who knows what he was doing, and some guy came up behind him and stabbed him and killed him and took his iPhone. It's scary...but it's also real. Bloomington is a great place but it's not like Bloomington is totally safe. I work at the newspaper, so I read all the stuff that happens. It's not like Bloomington is really different. But...Baltimore is a little different. Its reputation is well known. But when I was in New York I lived in Harlem and covered the Bronx. And I'm not saying I'm brave or I understand things any more than anybody else, but there's something about being near and being reminded day by day how some people have it. It just changes the way you live. I'm ready to adapt that place as my new home and hopefully care about it enough that I'm hopeful it will get better.
Hope all you want, but Tijan ain't moving there anytime soon, so you're fucked.
Tijan and his liger.

You've spent time covering the Big 10 at Penn St. and here. I'm guessing you've been to every Big 10 city now?
Yeah.
What's your favorite Big 10 city to visit on the road?
Ooh. Madison.
(Appropriately, another pitcher of beer is ordered0
When I was at Penn State, we went there. Back on the Penn State beat it was Dustin and I and this other guy, Jeff Frantz. We used to split trips, and on this trip it was just Jeff and I flying out to Madison and stayed at the Madison Radisson. We always booked our rooms where the team was staying. And we check in and went to the hotel bar, and there was this Swedish waitress who served us some sort of local beer until we couldn't see anymore. In the morning, we woke up and got showered. And then we're sitting in the lobby waiting for the team to come out. The Penn State players start coming downstairs and march straight out to a bus. And all the coaches are doing the same. It's this monumental procession. It's the Penn State football team getting ready to play. And all of a sudden Jay Paterno, who's by in large seen as Joe's bumbling son, the bumbling price of Penn State football, comes down and instead of getting straight onto the bus, he marches to the right a little bit and goes through another doorway. And so we're just sitting there, scratching our heads trying to figure out what Jay Paterno is doing. And sure enough he comes back through this door, and he's all confused, and then he sees the bus and gets on. It was just this perfect moment of where Penn State football stands. So they all leave and we head over to the stadium. We arrive on this street, and on the right side is the press box and of the left side are houses. As we look over at the houses, not only are there gorgeous Midwestern women all in the yards, but in the second story window there appear to be beer bongs coming down from the second story to the first story. So Frantz and I go over there, and we inform them that we are writers from the Philadelphia Daily News and the Philadelphia Inquirer, just to be cooler than we really are. And we get in for free and perhaps have a beer, we were working later that afternoon, so we probably refrained. And we met all these people everywhere, and there were cooking like 300,000 brats on the grill. Because that's what you do in Wisconsin. But every time we've gone there...we've been there at Halloween, since I got here, Doug and I were there for Halloween. We walked down State St., which is like their Kirkwood. It's just everybody having a great time. And when they play Jump Around after the 3rd quarter...you know we've been through all that stuff. I've been to Penn State for big games and white-outs and it's as loud as can be. Obviously, Indiana basketball, the William Tell Overture at the 8-minute mark. Incredible, bone-chilling. But, that Wisconsin, the world shakes. The whole thing shakes. It's just an incredible experience. You can just look out over the lake and sip a beer. I've always loved Madison.

Since we were talking brats, if they were to assign press credentials based on the outcome of a hot dog eating contest among the IU press corps, who on the IU beat gets the best seat?
You already know this because our old intern Jared Poertner would show up, possibly still drunk, generally hungover. I love Jared. He's a great guy, a great reporter, very dedicated to his work. But he was in a frat and lived in one of these beautiful houses on Washington across from Sports.  It was a gorgeous Victorian house with a wrap-around porch, and it's just a bunch of dudes. And I'm sure their beer budget for the week was $450, and it was all Natty or whatever, but it was a lot of beer drinking going on there. And he would come in, and he would get a hot dog. And then at the quarter mark he'd get another. These are not little hot dogs. These are the big, foot long, ridiculously thick, pink, been sitting in water all day, hot dogs. You wouldn't want to come near this...
(Another stream of IU luminaries greet us and wish Korman well. Any chance I had of maintaining anonymity during our sit down is completely fucked at this point.)
...so Jared could really put the hot dogs away, but...
More than Hutch?! Are you fucking with me?! I've seen Hutch cradle a weenie before, quite lovingly in fact, and that shit is a sight to behold.
Who's was it?
I don't know. He didn't seem to care, anonymous weenies. I've yet to see Hutch meet a weenie he couldn't take down.
Um...I've seen Hutch...Hutch has hoarded pizza. At basketball games they have Bucceto's pizza, and Hutch would take about 8 pieces and put them between two plates and just leave it near his computer. And then while he's writing, he would just grab a piece and munch on it at 11:30 or whatever time. But I think Jared would be up there. Ken Bikoff, who's one of my favorite people, ever, he would be up there. The IDS kids, because you've got to understand college kids and free food, I think a lot of them. They're still skinny, they clearly haven't been drinking enough, but they will try to eat free food and make it last through the week. So they would just eat 7 hot dogs and try to last until the next Saturday. So I think that's how it would shake down. Pete DiPrimio, not so good, he's small, fit. No hot dog eating for him. Um, Dustin can eat a hot dog. Dustin's got the plainest food taste I've ever seen, but he loved him a hot dog.

Bouncing back a bit, you said you liked Madison, in which Big 10 city were you most likely to pull some wool? You're a road dog, it's okay to admit it.
Oh, God. You know, um, when I was in grad school in New York City I was momentarily in love with two different girls from Iowa. So, I always had a fondness for Iowa City. They're just the nicest people there. Both these girls actually came from Illinois. One was from Bloomington, IL, and the other was from the quad cities. And they were just great people, and I always loved Iowa City. They would always call me when I was there and tell me which bar to go to or which sorority was hanging out there. So, I always like Iowa.
So you're saying you corn-holed some Hawkeyes?
Um, sure.

You are, for better or worse, inexorably intertwined with the Kelvin Sampson All-Stars.
Right.
You may or may not have coined the term.
It's possible.
If you could be any member of the KSAS, who would you be and why?
Oh, God....
Your first article here was written about Bud Mackey, no less.
Yeah.
The most nefarious of the KSAS.
I could give a sort of flippant, fun answer, and I think I'd want to be Eric Gordon because he's rich as hell and lives in L.A. But, you know, guys like...to me...look Kelvin Sampson obviously fucked up. I mean just fucked up. I remember the guy...he and I would have one on ones pretty frequently. I would come talk to him in his office, and he would just sit there for me. And one time he was sitting there, and I was on his couch, his leather couch. All coaches have nice leather couches. And he had pulled a chair close to me, just a regular looking, uncomfortable chair over near me, and we were talking. And all of a sudden he looked down. And at this point he was a little bit bigger. He hadn't been walking with DeAndre yet. So he had a sort of buddha going on, and he looks down at his buddha, and there was IU logo right on the top of it. He just looked down and saw that and just shook his head at it for like 30 seconds. You could just tell the guy was in awe that he was the Indiana basketball coach. You could tell it meant a lot to him, it meant a lot to him. It was everything to him. It was a big deal. He went from being at a place where you could win 20 games a year, and people would admire you, but they were still going to read the story about spring football and who the 3rd string quarterback is going to be. So he knew that he'd made that step up and how much people cared. But he could not change his own soul. And his own soul was that for so long he'd found kids who other people had overlooked or other people had worse said you're not worth anything.
Abandoned.
Yeah. Guys who...
Guys who'd been abandoned by their own fathers.
Right. And so he found these people and brought them up and promised them things and said, "I'm going to make it right. I'm going to make sure you're okay. We're going to get through this together." And there are so many guys like that. Jamarcus Ellis is the one to me that...I don't actually know his real story, but I'm pretty sure his father was murdered, and his mother died of AIDS. Just every bad thing you could imagine. He lived in a car for some time.  The guy just had a messed up life. And for so many people to sit and judge him from where they sat, which was...even the ones who just went to Bloomington North, which is no special upbringing. But then even the people who went to Carmel, and to live this entirely different life from him and say what he should or shouldn't be, or how badly he fucked up, or how he was ungracious for what he had been given here, how he'd threw that all away. And that might be true, but the kid went through so much. And my sentimental answer is that I'd try to be one of those guys and try to overcome, to become that sort of symbol for those guys. Sampson had those kids everywhere he went. And had he stayed, I don't think it's a guarantee those kids are better off, but some of them make it through. Eli Holman is better. DeAndre Thomas is better. These guys make it through and at least understand a little bit better what they need to do to make it out of these circumstances they grew up in. I guess that's the sentimental answer, but if I could be Eric Gordon I'd be buying the whole bar a drink right now.

On a related note, IU had never experienced any degree of the turmoil we have the last several years since almost to the day you arrived. Are you in fact an agent of Lucifer?
Yes. (Laughs, devilishly) You know I'm going to actually reject this. I've heard this from several people. Not the least of whom are high up and in charge of the university. I got here... I think the job had been posted for some time. They knew Stan Sutton was retiring. I think he retired Aug. 1, 2006. They posted the job after they figured out they were going to promote Doug Wilson, who had been the IU beat writer, and they were going to let Doug hire his replacement. And I think they had done that, I think it was very early, actually. It was maybe in January of that year, and they had given it a month for people to turn in applications. And Mike Davis, of course, was still the coach. Davis and Indiana had went to Penn State, and that was the game were Davis was sick or there was something wrong with Davis that day, and the rumors were that he was about to quit. Of course, I still had many friends at Penn State, and I ended up talking to them and asked them what the hell was going on. They said this whole thing was messed up, Indiana basketball is falling apart. And so I, that day, threw in an application for the job. I was interning at Sports Illustrated, and I kind of felt that I wanted to stay in New York, but to go cover a story like Indiana basketball in the place it was in, trying to find that next leader...we'd talked earlier, you know, there's been no 2nd guy after any great coach you could ever name has ever succeeded. So, I knew turmoil was coming. And as I say a lot on our chats, journalists are different. We seek turmoil. But by the time I'd got to the job, Sampson had already been hired, and he was in the midst of the NCAA stuff, and he'd already been sentenced.
At Oklahoma.
Right. They hired him before the sentence had came down, and the sentence was much, much stronger than anyone had ever imagined. You know, we've written about this, but Kelvin basically told Rick, "Hey, yeah, I sat in on the meetings, and I was on the phone calls, and they're just kind of wondering what happened. I told them what happened, and it's going to be fine." But it wasn't fine. It absolutely was not fine. Thomas Yeager slammed Kelvin. That became a real mess. And so I stepped in during that. We also had a pretty good sense, at that point...it's a pretty small town, and people talk, so we also knew that Terry Hoeppner was a lot worse than he was letting on. And so I stepped in, and it was just like, "wow." I remember, probably the third week on the job, just sitting there and taking a deep breath and trying to think about what was about to come. I had known a lot of good basketball writers, and they all called me and said, "You're going to nail this guy. This is going to happen." And I knew then that there was going to be something. Obviously, I couldn't foresee how it would all go down, and how much... tumult and collateral there would be, how it would just destroy everything. I knew Kelvin Sampson was going to go down in flames, but to think that Indiana basketball, which even growing up in Pennsylvania I knew was this sort of untouchable thing, to think that that would be hurt as much as it was, I couldn't have imagined it. You know...by the time...maybe I am an agent of Lucifer is what I'm saying.
I just took a couple of things from that. You are to sports reporting what tornado chasers are to the weather, and if you're a coach in the Baltimore area right now, seek a transfer and/or take out a very, very large life insurance policy. Because you will either be fired or dead very soon. All of you.

On the serious, let's say you're Adam Herbert and it's early fall 2007. What the fuck do you? What should you do?
You mean when the first stuff about Kelvin came out.
The week of midnight madness, they took this public, but they'd actually known since earlier that summer. You're the president of this university, what would you do?
If I was not the guy who forced this hire, that's the x-factor here. Adam Herbert made the hiring happen. For whatever reason, he and some of the trustees were totally charmed by Sampson. And I can sit here and tell you that I like Kelvin Sampson. I mean, he does not like me. But as far as a guy who you'd go drink a beer with or a guy who raised good kids. And he did. His kids are great. I think he's a good family man. I think his wife is happy. I mean, all these things that we judge humans by, um, but he was incredibly arrogant and did the wrong thing. But Adam Herbert made all that happen. Adam Herbert said this is the guy, and we're going to do it. So, when October came, for him to do the right thing was for him to admit that, however many months earlier, he'd done entirely the wrong thing. The right thing would have been to cut him loose. You don't worry about scapegoating Rob Senderoff. Nobody is going to believe, you know, "Oh, we got rid of Rob Senderoff." Nobody buys that, come on. Rob Senderoff is the third assistant who they'd plucked from Kent State. He was a young, promising guy who had done great work, but you are not fooling anybody. You're sacrificing a grasshopper. And it's Indiana. You cannot do that at Indiana. You cannot have a guy who...and especially when the lone columnist in the state, Bob Kravitz, is an Indiana grad and a former antagonist of Bob Knight. He really went after Knight. But he's a guy who really understands Indiana. And he says you cannot hire a guy like Sampson. Even if the new violations were mistakes, Greenspan kept saying, "omissions, not commissions," even if that's true, that is not the guy for Indiana. That is not the right guy for Indiana. You have to have a guy who knows and understands and does it right. You just have to get rid of Sampson. I don't know who you give it to at that point. Obviously, it's a bad situation. It's October, but you have to do something. And that's hindsight, and anybody can make decisions in hindsight, but he absolutely needed to do something immediately. It's the only way to go. You think about how much better off Indiana would be, just the players they would've kept and the momentum they would've had and the image that would've stayed intact. It's clearly the only way to go.

Switching gears, again, what advice would you like to give to Dustin's next roommate?
Oooh, good lord. You know, Dustin is the...and I say this with not an ounce of hyperbole, Dustin is the best person I've ever met. Dustin is the most sincere, most generous...well, he's obviously not going to give you a lot of money because he's a reporter, but he's generous in the sense of being a great human being, being there for you and trying to understand what you're going through. He's sympathetic, empathetic...he's just that guy. He's the best friend you could ever ask for. And the thing that somebody needs to do, that I could never do, that a lot of his other friends could never do, what his brother couldn't make him do is make him worry about himself a little bit, just go and be okay with living his own life, and just do it for himself for a bit. He's a great dude. He's the best. I don't think I'll ever have as much fun in my life as I did with him closing the Vid most weekend nights. He's just the best.

A Birthday Fit For A Badmotherfucker

2010-07-21T15:55:00.002-04:00

If you ask either my mom or the Monroe County Health Department, they will happily confirm that this Friday is my birthday. And unlike those other 364 days of the year where my preferences generally don't mean shit to, well, most everybody I encounter, I'm seizing the opportunity this year to take full advantage of the privileges traditionally conferred upon the birthday boy. So, in a nod to Drew Magary's Father's Day itinerary, I'm scheduling out my day in advance and would appreciate it if those involved would just see to it that it happens exactly as I fucking choose, for a change.

7:13AM- Wife wakes up without having to hit snooze (x2). After dressing and using the bathroom with ninja-like stealth, returns to bed without waking me. She's feeling frisky. I rise; she shines. We repeat.

7:36AM- Having achieved a climax that registers on the seismic station in Evansville, I instantly return to R.E.M. sleep and finish off crazy flying dream for 1st time ever.

8:15AM- I awake to find the kids already fed and dressed to their satisfaction. The wife pulls off the pot of coffee she just brewed and explains how Starbucks had sent the beans for my personal review. Hmm, Sumatran infused with purple haze; twice the caffeine with a nice piney finish. Instantly irie, I approve.

8:19AM- I log on and check the news to discover the NCAA has given Kentucky the death penalty for its willful and everlasting pattern of major infractions; Calipari is slapped with a lifetime show-cause order; and Kentucky's entire program record is hereby vacated. As I reach for my cell to call my buddy and gloat, I notice the 2nd headline and stop in my tracks: Matt Painter is resigning after being caught in a gay sex scandal......with Bruce Weber as his feltching partner and something about Gene Keady as the videographer and "ball-holder." I step on the back deck, fire up a spliff, and bask in utopic repose

8:27AM- Having waited patiently and quietly for me to finish reading and sipping my coffee, I take the kids outside to shoot hoops. On her 1st attempt at the regulation height of 10', the girl swishes a jumper. Impressed with her impeccable shooting form, she proceeds to knock down 49 of 50 free throws (the 1 miss coming off my challenge to see if she can lay one off the front of the rim and rebound it for a put-back; she does).

8:54AM- Coach Jack happens to be passing by and, upon seeing the shooting/rebounding prowess of my 3-year-old, offers her a full-ride on the spot, the first ever for a pre-kindergartner  I whip out the cell, access my Chase accounts, and transfer girl's college fund into daddy's leisure fund. Score for daddy.

8:55AM- As we begin to head into the house, I notice Irene, the bitchy neighbor whose miniature schnauzers always shit in my yard, approaching with said defecating rodents in tow. Tijan approaches from the opposite direction, walking his rare, white liger. Whipped into a frenzy by the smell of her rodents' feces, the liger pounces on the schnauzers and devours them both in one gulp.  As Irene flees in terror and hysterically vows never to return again, Tijan offers to hang out in the front yard for the remainder of the day to ensure such disrespectful offenses to my property are not repeated. I humbly accept.

8:58AM- As we return to the house, the cell rings. Apparently, Huggies discovered a picture on the internet of my toddler which prominently featured his diaper-swaddled junk. Awestricken with the sight of my son's bulging and perfect package, they offer to make him a trustafarian if we'll allow them to use the picture in all their marketing. I accept their offer and transfer boy's college fund into daddy's leisure fund. Score another one for daddy.

8:56AM- I summons grandma to the house, hand her a stack of bills, and instruct her to take the kids to Toys 'R Us, Chuck E Cheese, and wherever the fuck else the kids wanna terrorize and tell her to make it rain til they say stop. She warmly complies.

9:01AM- The house emptied, the wife chooses to clean the house, topless. Impressed, I oblige her subtle advances, and we come up with some new shit in the kitchen that is deserving of its own chapter in the Kama Sutra.

9:28AM- As I'm setting up our noon tee time on French Lick's Pete Dye Course, the doorbell rings. The CEO's of Phillip Morris & R.J. Reynolds have personally come to inform me my patent for the lung brush was approved. (A non-toxic, inhalable solvent which completely erases the effects of smoking on the respiratory system.) They each give me a blank check and offer hand jobs. I take the paper and pass on the latter. I tell them that'll get us at the negotiating table, and ask that they go find out how many zeros their accountants can squeeze onto a check. On their way out, I instruct them to find another plane home and have theirs fueled and ready for my departure.

9:30AM- Cancel French Lick. Book foursome for Augusta National.

10:15AM- After fucking like banshees atop a pile of money, limo arrives. Bell's Two Hearted pours on the tap as we head to the airport. Text alerts me to news that John Wooden's diary was just published and fully admits to participating in Sam Gilbert's corrupt enterprises. UCLA is stripped of 8 championships. I gizz myself.

10:30AM- My brothers and best friend are waiting on board the Gulfstream V as we arrive. As requested, a violent montage of scenes from Braveheart, The Patriot, and Brotherhood of the Wolf plays on the flatscreens. Warren Haynes takes our request on his acoustic from the back of the plane. Deschuttes Mirror Pond & Black Butte Porter flow from the taps.

11:25- As we make our descent, Bob Knight calls to wish me happy birthday. He seemlessly transitions into a rant about all the fucksticks that transferred away from IU under him. I randomly interject, "fuck that faggot" and, "he was a lazy piece of shit, anyway" to fuel the flames. I let him finish the Sampson rant before I tell him we'll go hunting and shoot some neighbors real soon.

Noon-  Helicopter shuttles us from the airport and lands on the 18th green. We hit the clubhouse to enjoy a couple of crab-stuffed filets before teeing off. On our way out of the clubhouse, I try on some green jackets and comment on how unfat I feel wearing Phil's jacket. Stop in the players' locker room to rub one out before leaving an upper decker in Tiger's favorite stall.

12:30PM- Bill Murray greets us at the tees to serve as my caddy, remains in character as Carl Spangler for remainder of the day. We cannonball it at every tee.

2:45PM- Wife greets me after 12the tee shot. I send the boys off with Carl to dye Rae's Creek crimson in honor of my 29 on the front 9. The wife and I consecrate my record by doing things on The Hogan Bridge that would make Tiger's freakiest mistress blush.

3:50PM- Hootie joins us for Lagavulin 25's under the big oak tree. Though he tries nobly to keep up with the big boys, Mr. Chariman is reduced to a pile of confederate goo just two puffs into the 4:20 blunt. He offers no resistance as I condition my requested membership into his club on that of similar offers to Wanda Sykes & Dave Chappelle. Score one for equality.

4:28PM- Helicopter picks us back up on the 18th green. Before departing, we use the copter's downwash to make crop circles in shape of cock and balls on fairways 1 through 7.

4:37PM- Find Jimmy Page waiting for us on the Gulfstream to take our requests on his 12-string acoustic. Text tells me Painter, Weber, Keady, & Chief Illiniwek are hitting the road as a Village People tribute band. I book them to open every IU home game for next 5 seasons, pay double for fans to hurl fruit at them during performances.

5:59PM- Make stop in Mishawaka, IN to romp around Hummer's proving grounds for a bit. Have my H1 custom fitted to explode cube-shaped cars upon crushing them.

6:50PM- Family joins me for dinner at Assembly Hall's center court. We pop lobster tails like candy corn as Eric Gordon alternates between 3-point shooting demonstrations and tea-bagging Tom Pritchard on thunderous dunks.

7:45PM- Tom Crean and John Jameson IX arrive and present me with a barrel of whiskey. I notice my name is stamped upon the barrel and learn that it has been aging since the day of my birth (God visited the distiller in a dream and instructed him to do so) and that its wood came from John Jameson's coffin. We quaff pints of it as the kids take turns diving for loose balls and bouncing passes off Rick Greenspan's face.

8:30PM- Grandparents take the kids home. Don Fischer recites stories of IU's banner seasons to the children before they fall asleep.

8:35PM- Arrive at the Irish Lion for cocktails and hot apple walnut cake. Jackie Chan's retarded brother (the restaurant manager) quips about the ice in my whiskey. AJ Moye, seated beside me, overhears the comment and crushes Jackie's skull on the bar for his insolence. We attach his corpse, ass first, onto the stuffed wildebeest's horns above the bar to warn patrons about the cost of telling an Irishman how to drink his whiskey. Martha the cleaning lady serenades me before we bounce.

9:20PM- Head to Lake Monroe for sunset cruise. We pick up the Mellencamp's at their beach. John performs entire Scarecrow album on the boat's stern while Elaine dances topless at the bow. My wife enjoys neither. I'm at half-staff. Quarrymen's and Bad Elmer's on deck.

10:05PM- Limo takes us to Rooftop where we pull tubes (NLxG13) before nude cliff diving.

11:00PM- Arrive at old college house to re-create Little 5 party from 4/19/97: 9 kegs, 4 bands, 2 tanks of N2O. Police do not arrive this time, though bonfire is still visible from 3 miles away.

2:45AM- Return home. Kiss kids goodnight.  Order Big Ten bargain for Tijan & his liger to share before calling it a night.

2:50AM- Wife still finds a way to shock and persuade my soul to ignite, despite my copious Jameson consumption. After sex that registers on seismic station in St. Louis, I fall asleep knowing that no badmotherfucker has ever enjoyed a birthday such as I have today.

The Shit I Say: A User's Guide

2010-07-14T22:25:00.001-04:00

So I've got this blog. And whenever people find out about it, I'm inevitably asked, "what's that all about?"

"Well, it's the shit," I say. "If you like IU, you should check it out. I try to put some interesting stuff on it."

Then I'll usually throw in some self-depreciating comment to lower the expectations if they do chose to visit, and it usually ends there.

But the other day I was reading another blog I really enjoy on its 3rd birthday. And in recanting how the blog started with a story about Bud Mackey, Alex mentioned that, in hindsight, an introduction might have been in order first. (I still say leading anything off with the #KSAS is a surefire recipe for success).

It got me thinking. When I launched my little shitshow, I also never took the time to properly introduce myself or what this thing was all about. Shit, I didn't even bother to generate original content for the launch; I just pasted some shit on my page that I'd previously posted on the Scoop and dug up every cool IU link I could find to dress my pig up a little bit.

Well, a year and a half later, I'm still throwing shit up here (granted, 20-loss seasons have proven to douse a creative fire or two), and people keep stopping by, in increasing numbers. (Actually, the longer I went without posting, the larger the traffic count grew. D'oh! Why am I messing up a good thing with this post?!) Thus, I figured there's no time like the present to drop a little background on the "who the," "what the," and "why the"s that many you may have inquired about.

Who the...?
I'm an IU alum who was born in B-town during the days of perfection. My father was a 2-sport athlete at IU who dutifully took his sons to every IU game he could manage: football, basketball, soccer, and even some Olympic sports. My mom is a buckeye transplant whose own father first told me, "a buckeye is nothing but a useless fucking nut."

I've spent the better part of my life either living in Bloomington or within an hour or so from Assembly Hall, my church of worship.

I sit below the tunnels and usually have booze on my breath. I stand up and cheer whenever I feel like it and am not afraid to cocksmack those behind me who vocally object to my doing so.

I'm a progressive-purist who was weaned on short shorts, motion offense, and center-parted haircuts.

I believe it was time for Knight to go in 2000, if not sooner, but just not in that manner.

I believe it's long past time there was a statue of Bob Knight in front of Assembly Hall.

I believe Mike Davis was a helluva nice guy, but the worst halftime coach in the world.

I believe John Treloar would've won the '02 national championship.

I believe Davis would've won the '02 championship, in spite of his shortcomings, if only Hastings had stayed.

I believe Kelvin's coaching ethics mirrored his defensive philosophy: if you ain't fouling, you ain't trying...hoss.

I believe Rick Greenspan is the devil.

I believe Tijan is proof that man is created in God's image.

I believe a house divided is really another way of saying your house is half retarded.

I believe all the corn in Indiana leans to the south because Kentucky sucks and Purdue blows.

I believe it's time for me to end this portion of the post.

What the...?
Let's first establish one fact, I am not a journalist. I have never represented myself as a journalist, and I will never pretend to be a journalist. Those guys who get paid to sell dead trees are issued press credentials for a reason, and they're way to skilled in their trade for me to ever be considered among their ranks.

This site simply represents one man's perspective on the Hoosiers. And though some potentially meaningful information occasionally passes through the mire of vulgarities here, I will be the first to acknowledge that my views are not fair, balanced, subject to editing (or even spell check), or otherwise intended to be taken too seriously. Shit, if BWI (blogging while intoxicated) was a criminal offense, I'd have been the interwebs' 1st 3-strikes offender.

This blog is just a place for me to post some opinions that aren't commonly found on the traditional IU beat. Consider it the internet equivalent of bar talk, Hoosiers style. And for what the blog lacks in content, I've tried to compensate for in its appurtenant links and embeds. (Yeah, I know the shit is sometimes out of date and/or outright fails, but what do you expect when I modeled it after my wardrobe?)

So take your time, play around with it, and always take it for what it's worth. Whatever you do however, stop fucking emailing me about my journalistic objectivity, frequent obscenity, harsh criticisms of IU's players, or any other shit you find not to your liking. Just hit that little "x" in the top, right corner of your screen and forget you ever found this place.

For those who enjoy my blogshart, but just can't get enough, I suggest following me on Twitter.

Why the...?
Personally, the internet has always been a vehicle for discussing IU. When I found myself far from home in law school and unable to keep paying my ridiculously large long-distance phone bills, my family, friends, and I began to use email as the preferred method to bounce our opinions about IU back and forth. Not only was this waaay more cost effective, but it proved to be useful in making us better at articulating our positions on the Hoosiers without the other person's immediate feed back or their tendency to always interrupt you in mid-sentence.

As our correspondences continued, IU-related content began to flourish on the web. What started with online papers, quickly grew into comment sections, blogs, message boards, and all sorts of engaging and interactive forums. I soon began cherry-picking some of the thoughts I'd discovered online and started interjecting them into my discussions. It was a bonanza of new assholes to wipe.

Then, about the time I found myself between gigs and with some extra time on my hands, a new blog popped up on the Herald-Times. A recently joined beat writer started posting his thoughts (and actually solicited feedback on them), openly conversed with his readers, and began hosting weekly Q & A's. Amazed that a member of the mainstream media would actually stoop so low, I soon found the page irresistible.

What began with a comment here or there quickly developed into a habitual pattern. I just couldn't resist tossing my two cents into the fray. I'd pepper Chris and Doug with questions, and they'd always reply with insight and courtesy. Soon, they created a fan forum that allowed readers to begin new topics. I lunged at the chance. Back then, many of the regulars were as highly informed about IU as they were willing to civilly engage in discussions. They'd created a virtual marketplace of IU opinions, and the feedback was usually welcoming to what I was selling.

But there was always the nagging sense of decorum that kept me from saying what was truly on my mind, at least in a familiar vernacular that was truly befitting of my feelings. And, over time, more of the voices I respected disappeared, and throngs of new people began pissing in our little pool.

Thus, in the midst of Crean's 1st year, and completely fed up with the fucking mess that Greenspan & Sampson had left, I launched this ship of fools off on its maiden journey. Call it therapeutic release, if you will. It proved to be a great way to let off some steam and gave me something to do besides work. Better still, my family and friends could give their ears a break and just stop by the page to see whatever nonsensical shit was on my mind that day.

Thanks in no small part to the journalists who first engaged my views and later recommended the blog to their readers, the page has grown from a 2-pump-chump (that's exactly how many hits the first post got) to attracting thousands of visitors from 47 states and 32 countries. It's crazy, seeing how I post about as regularly as Lindsay Lohan sobers up. I'm utterly amazed at the passion and pervasiveness of Indiana's fans.

So there you have it. That's what we're working with here. I truly appreciate all the feedback I've received over the years and thank all those who chose to visit my little corner of the web. Keep stopping by, and I'll keep throwing shit up on the wall. Feel free to tell me what sticks.

The Pitch: Beyond Titties, Beer, & Banners

2010-07-08T00:49:00.001-04:00

It turns out today was a popular day for pitching IU.

First, Kravitz started the day by making a tongue-in-cheek attempt at impartiality in not suggesting a school for Cody Zeller.

Then, after Indiana Elite's morning tilt at the Adidas Invitational, Austin Etherington got straight to the point and said his top priority this summer was to "get Cody." You can see it for yourself, thanks to the dedicated work of Inside the Hall.

But as I sat in the main gym at North Central High School and stared at the life-sized cut-outs of former Indiana Mr. Basketball winners Eric Gordon, AJ Ratliff, and Jason Gardner adorning the wall, I felt the need to expand on these pitches for Zeller to IU. There's a lot at stake for all parties, and I've never been one to shy away from resolving conflicts.

Sure, Kravitz somehow managed to rattle off the obvious reasons for Cody to come to IU: traditions, academics, general awesomeness, blah, blah, blah... That shit is what coaches say to your parents on the couch when they're trying to be cute. Let's be real here. What took Bob 3 web pages to trudge through can be summed up in 3 tidy words: Titties, Beer, & Banners. IU is top 3 all-time in each category. Period.

For a heterosexual, teen aged male there are few better places on Earth to sow your college basketball oats. Seriously, it's just that fucking great in B-town. You instantly become a god on a campus where all the students are rock stars and every night is grammy night. You'll have absolutely zero problems finding throngs of women to do pretty much whatever freaky shit you could ever dream up. And, the entire community is batshit crazy for hoops. Titties. Beer. Banners. What more could Zeller want there?

(Did I also mention that while the parents will be less than an hour and a half away from home games and within reach of all conference games, moms will be just far enough away to keep from showing up unannounced and stepping on a players game? Trust me. I've been almost exactly the same distance from home in Bloomington, and the proximity is unbeatable if you happen to like clean laundry and dirty coeds.)

Yeah, it's pretty much the ideal fit for Cody.

But if that weren't enough, I implore Zeller to look at the bigger picture. Think 36,420 square miles big. Think state of Indiana big.

Having not only recently won a state championship, but also being the heir apparent for the Indiana Mr. Basketball award, what would be the 3rd for his family in 6 years, Cody stands in the unique position of defining the modern legacy of basketball in Indiana.

Living in Washington, Indiana, Steve Bouchie's hometown, Cody knows full well what kind of legacy a local legend can leave in his community when he hangs a banner in Assembly Hall. Zeller probably wouldn't need a pro contract to retire if he had a dollar for every time he has encountered Bouchie's name.

The only thing keeping Cody from riding the wave of his high school success to IU is IU's current talent deficit. But Cody can fix that in almost an instant, both as an individual talent and as a magnet for other talent.

Cody's commitment would not only give IU the capable big man it so badly needs to compete and in the Big 10, but would surely also attract other top talent to IU. Winners like to win, and the winners IU is recruiting would like to see some more winners commit to the candy stripes before they also choose to spend their college days in Bloomington. Cody can open the flood gates there.

And with the in-state talent coming up through the high school ranks with Zeller, it's not hard to imagine an IU roster loaded with homeboys and ready to represent against the nation's best.

And speaking of homeboys, Zeller would already play alongside Jordan Hulls, giving IU multiple Mr. Basketballs on the roster, a lethal recipe for the Hoosiers' past successes: Jeffries & Coverdale, Graham & Bailey, Jones & Edwards, Tolbert & Bouchie, Van Arsdale bros & Rayl, and, well, you know, those other ones....Gordon & goddamnit Ratliff ! (special shout-out to Delray Brooks for trying, unsuccessfully, to swagga jack Alford's Mr. BB mojo. "You, too, Luke Recker."- Cov.)

This is the stuff that Indiana boys dream about. This is some Steve Alford, Damon Bailey, and Kent Benson shit. This is what separates the greats of the state from the all-time legends.

So what that Oden & Conley took LN to 3 straight state championships and an NCAA title game? They took their show away from home and away from the people who cared most about them. Sean May's banner in Chapel Hill? Does anybody in Indiana really give a shit about Carolina? Bryce Drew's "the shot"? Well, that still gives me fucking goosebumps, but I digress.

The point is that if Cody chooses to keep his talent in Indiana for however many years he attends college, he and the entire state of Indiana benefit from keeping Indiana's best players close to home. It's a symbiotic relationship between the keepers of the flame and the state of the game.

Cody needs Indiana's continued love to cement his legacy among the greats like he owes the state's rabid passion for the game in helping him to become the player he is today. The best part? There's still lots of headroom for both to grow!

Moreover, what better thing to be a part of than the dreams of tomorrow's Hoosiers, the young boys who dare to become the next to hoist a state championship trophy, dawn Mr. Basketball's #1 jersey, and someday follow the flags out onto Branch McCracken Court for the first time in candy stripes. It is now time for Cody to show Indiana's kids what kind of success can be harvested from this fertile soil when cultivated with sweat, determination, and fundamentals.

Anywhere else, Zeller is just another great player. But at Indiana....he becomes Indiana.

And in my humble opinion, only that could possibly top titties, beer, & banners.

But no matter what Cody chooses to do, I will unwaveringly credit his decision to Tijan's epic legacy. He can either run from it or bask in its greatness. In this context, either way, I already completely understand.

(Un)Official Kelvin Sampson All-Stars Roster

2010-05-12T10:11:00.000-04:00

So, I'm not exactly sure how this matter has been neglected for so long, but I felt the time has finally come to compile an unofficial roster for the Kelvin Sampson All-Stars. The list below reflects, to the best of my clouded memory, those epic, infamous, and, sometimes, nefarious legends who became endeared to Hoosier fans as the KSAS. Please feel free to leave comments about notable additions or subtractions which you may believe are in order.

Eric Gordon
Armon Bassett
Jordan Crawford
Jamarcus Ellis
DeAndre Thomas
Lance Stemler
Mike White
Eli Holman
Xavier Keeling
Brandon McGee
Tom Pritchard
Matt Roth
Lance Stephenson
Devin Ebanks
Terrell Holloway
Bud Mackey
Demetri McCamey

While I'm sure there are several other deserving members, I'm starting to think this distinguished list may require 1st/2nd/3rd teams and/or an honorable mention designations.

Some popular misnomers:
*Joey Shaw (Mike Davis All-Star)
*Ray McCallum Jr. (Ray McCallum Sr. All-Star)
*Ben Allen (Kerry Rupp All-Star)

So, who'd I leave out, who doesn't belong, and why, after all these years, are these figures still haunting my memories?

KSAS Away Jersey featured in county orange

Answering the Call: Out

2010-03-07T15:05:00.000-05:00

For days now, I've been out. Out of words, out of patience, and virtually out of hope. It seems now, however, "out" is the new in for the Indiana Hoosiers.

After being called out for being...well, flaccid by their coach, Indiana finally showed the fight that's been missing from their play for well over a month now.

On an afternoon when four improbable Hoosiers would close out their Assembly Hall careers, it was tomorrow's Hoosiers who stepped out and provided positive punctuation to the latest chapter in Tom Crean's Hoosier resurrection.

In a game where history's cruel glare was squarely fixed on our young, floundering team, IU stamped out any chance of being labeled the worst team in IU history.

Following more than 5 weeks where the Hoosiers spent virtually every minute playing from behind, IU spent the day playing out front for a change. And when the 'Cats clawed their way back into the mix at the end of regulation, Indiana's underclassmen closed out the overtime period in convincing fashion.

Man, yesterday had more "outs" than a pride parade in San Francisco. Did I mention that Jordy Hulls was fucking lights-out? How about Elston wiping out any doubt that he deserves minutes, and lots of them? Is it now safe to say Capobianco relishes boxing out? And Bawa, well he's still pretty much out in general.

Nevertheless, hope is back in Bloomington, and doubt is out, at least for the moment.

Not only did yesterday's win keep the '09-'10 Hoosiers from setting the IU record for most consecutive losses, it allowed Crean's 2nd year squad to quadruple last year's conference win total- no small feat for a team that lost its leading scorer on the eve of Big 10 play and during a season where the Big 10 was about as competitive as it's ever been.

And now, a few more "outs" before I put this baby to bed:

-Devan Dumes not only failed to act out my predicted 9.5 3PA's, he notably left out any gratitude towards the coaching staff that brought him to Bloomington in his senior speech.

- For an advertised sell-out, the Hall was shockingly bare for the better part of the 1st half and didn't even come close to filling out until after halftime.

-Out of the ranks of those in attendance: the IU gorilla??? On what I believed to be his senior night, too, the Hoosiers' unofficial mascot was nowhere to be seen.

-Also out of the Hall: Roshown McLeod, on a recruiting trip. Seeing as the 1st weekend of March brings with it sectional play at high schools around the nation, it actually surprising most coaching staffs aren't dispatched away from the bench during games.

-If ever Hoosier hearts should go out to a candy-striped warrior, Tijan must be atop that list. Period. With a smile that lights up all of B-town, a personal story that commands admiration, and a pair of elbows that spare neither friends nor foes, Tijan deserves his own section of big-heads behind the buckets. He will be missed.

-After briefly showing up for a stint, Pritchard has officially checked back out. For the week, Big Tom logged 31 minutes and posted 2 points, 2 assists, 6 boards, and 7 fouls. And while only 1 turnover in 31 minutes may be a personal best for him, that has more to do with the fact that his teammates have all but given up on feeding him in the paint. With Crean actively pursuing capable big men for next year, have we seen the last of the Big ~~Tom~~ Snizz in Assembly Hall?

And with that, just like Ryan Seacrest, I'm out (but only without the intention of quietly seeking hot man-sex afterwards).

A Public Service Announcement

2010-03-02T20:52:00.000-05:00

That is all. You may now return to your regularly scheduled 11-game losing streak.

Rites of Passage

2010-02-27T10:57:00.000-05:00

Well, fuck me. "It happened.....I don't know really what else to say." Well said, Coach Crean, very well said.

Happen it did. After almost 2 years of watching his team play the Rodney Dangerfield of the Big 10, Tom Crean finally lost it, and, as predicted here, the place went fucking nuts. Despite the fact that IU was down 25 at the time and the post-ejection surge was only evident from the hearty roars from the heavily depleted crowd, it was finally time for an epic and symbolic gesture of disdain with the bullshit that Indiana basketball has been reduced to since Crean inherited the Sampson/Greenspan shit-show.

Not content to go quietly like Norman Dale after receiving his marching orders, Crean kept coming back for more. Shit, I thought for a second he was seriously thinking about punching Tom O'Neill. No matter his intentions, Crean sold it and had to be restrained, multiple times, before officially making the locker room door his bitch (1:31 mark).

But for ITH mentioning it later, I'd have never known it was IU's largest margin of defeat ever in Assembly Hall. No, that won't be the event for which this one will be remembered; this night will forever be known as the night Crean had finally seen enough and let go of all the pain, anger, and frustration that 2 years of getting the shit kicked out of his team has caused him...and it was fucking awesome!

From all accounts afterwards, it appears the post-game locker room talk was equally impassioned and on par with prior motivational speeches given there.

As if the events of this night weren't meaningful enough in and of themselves, they coincidental happened on the very week of the 25th anniversary of Bob Knight's chair toss. Talk about dramatic irony, my friends. Add in the handful of coins and some other shit that was briefly tossed towards the court, and the whole scene was eerily similar to Bobby's infamous evening.

Now that Crean has completed his Hoosier coach's rite of passage, I'm curious to see where things go from here. Crean's ejection and its appurtenant tantrum should put to rest, at least temporarily, his image as the eternal optimist on the sideline. No longer may misguided fans point to his relentless cheerleading as evidence of his disconnection with the dire nature of his team's situation. After the press conference following the Wisconsin game, there's little doubt that he's finally removed the kid gloves when it comes to calling out his team's failure to fight through adversity.

Going forward, only the remaining games will show whether Crean's outburst achieved the impact his team and fans needed to rekindle the belief that this IU team can still compete and win. Because if the players can't match their coach's passion, it seems clearer than ever that next year's roster may be far more fluid than anyone ever expected. And deservedly so after seeing how little fight this team has put up over the course of its latest losing streak. Nobody wants to see a 10+ game losing streak become IU's newest rite of passage with each passing season.

*A special tip of the hat to Hugh Kellenberger for his selection of Twisted Sister's "We're Not Gonna Take It" video in Hoosier Morning. I thought the IU band missed a perfect opportunity to make the most out of Crean's ejection by not immediately breaking into that tune. Oh, well. A little Johnny Cougar always makes a fine substitution, right?

Aloha All Over Again

2010-02-24T23:52:00.000-05:00

Aloha. Man, that's a useful word (but not the most useful word). Hello and goodbye, all rolled up into one nice, little word. I can't stop thinking about "aloha" lately.

I know it's been a while since I last posted, so let's recap: IU comes into the game highly disfavored, keeps in it for a hot minute, and then promptly folds it up under the weight of its crushing talent deficiency.

Sounds familiar, right? Yeah, no shit it's familiar by now, but I'm not talking about Minnesota. Let's rewind 15 months ago to the date: IU v. ND in Maui. Nov. 24, 2008, the date when the depths of Crean's rebuilding project became inescapably apparent. Fucktastically undersized, athletically outmatched, and as thin on experience as they come, we got pounded on the boards, coughed the ball up like a TB patient, and shot the ball like an amputee in an arm sling.

Fast forward to the present and it's like aloha (hello) Maui all over again. Sure, we've lost Maurice & Matt to injury and our freshmen have hit the wall at about the exact same time last year's boys did, but today's Hoosiers aren't in a whole lot better shape than they were that day on the island (okay, we're not as dependent on walk-on talent this year and Daniel Moore doesn't use the basketball to take out his anger on his foot anymore, point: you).

Nevertheless, I still can't get past that sunken feeling that comes with actualizing just how far we have to go. With each passing defeat, I'm forced to confront the reality of our basketball ineptitude... and it sucks.

So, as we say aloha (goodbye) to this chapter in Crean's IU basketball resurrection, I'm anxious as ever to get off the island of fuct teams and back into Big 10 contention. And with 5 games left on this season's slate, it seems that all eyes are already cast on next year's roster and the names that might yet fill it or be missing from it. Not exactly the position you want to be in as March rolls around.

Past that, there's not much else to say that hasn't already been said a thousand times this year. The numbers don't lie, we're not good (and Corazza has graphs to prove it at ITH).

Aside from how awful we are right now (like I said, we are to basketball what Gene Keady's comb-over is to sexuality), I couldn't help but notice a few things on the newly christened Cook Hall. So, what's up with all the limestone barricades in the front lawn? Are we expecting Purdue Pete to try to barrel into the fucking thing with his little choo-choo? And when is somebody going to erect a statue of Bob Knight on 17th St.? Seriously, of all the coaches who are inexorably intertwined to their program and immortalized in sculpture, it's time for Bobby to be set in bronze outside Assembly Hall.

So, yeah, good talk and aloha.

Lifting the Curtain on All the Questions

2010-02-13T23:49:00.000-05:00

Who knows whether the gods will add tomorrow to the present hour? -Horace

I started the day thinking about a paradigm shift; realigning my expectations of this team to the reality of our current situation. Rather than clinging to the improving promise of Minny, PSU, Illinois, and Purdue, I was prepared to accept this team for who they really are (like anybody truly knows at this point) and seek signs of measurable improvement in the areas we'd need to work on to make the next step in our return to competitiveness.

My untenable expectations had given way to the cruel reality that is being the 11th youngest team in the nation, absent the services of our most prolific scorer, without the presence of a reliable post option, and lacking a team identity that suits the program's legacy. I was ready to see something from the cauldron of conference play that would show me how today's Hoosiers will be forged into tomorrow's team?

And then the whistle blew, and the Hoosiers never started playing. Once again, IU came out completely flat with piss-poor execution and pathetic effort. For the 3rd consecutive game, and the 4th in the last 6 outings, the Hoosiers got their doors blown off right out of the gate.

My initial hopes of coming out with a chip on our shoulder were crushed long before IU had dropped 20 points back only 7 1/2 minutes into the game. After starting the game at a clip that would've allowed Wisconsin to put up 148 on us, Crean finally went to his bench and put Elston and Capobianco on the court. By the time the big freshmen sat back down, IU had almost matched Wisconsin's points (10-9 Elston & 12-9 Capo). And that pretty much ended any meaningful resistance by the Hoosiers for the duration of the game.

Numb from the ugliness and not quite ready to drink this one away yet, I'm at a loss for answers. I have only more questions than before the game. What the hell is going on with my Hoosiers? Where did our will to compete go? When does it end and what will it take?

The other day on the Scoop chat I questioned whether Crean had lost his team; Korman thusly replied, "the Hoosiers are lost." The questions of whether Crean has lost contact with his team and whether the players have lost their will to compete not only linger after Wisconsin, but greatly intensified.

Having stewed on the matter all evening, I'm now convinced that the time has come for Crean to open up a practice to the media. At the very least, shoot and edit his own video showing what's going on when the popcorn isn't popping. Because the on-court product has been so disappointing and because his press room proselytizing is starting to ring hallow, we need to see exactly what's going on and how it's being addressed. Just give me something to let me know we're still fucking trying.

Seriously, I'm way past the point of hoping for upsets, and I've all but given up in seeking multiple, measurable improvements within each game. Anymore I'm just looking for signs of life. Give me something, anything that let's me know we're not already done playing basketball with 7 games still remaining. Let me know that our locker room isn't so fractured that it can't spend 40 quality minutes together a couple times a week. Show me that the players are trying to improve and that the coaching staff is facilitating this goal.

Otherwise, save me the bullshit about stages and hurting and all the rest. Because no matter how young or fragile these players are, that's still no excuse for playing like nutless pussies for 3 consecutive games. There isn't a stage where not trying is acceptable.

Seeing how the opposite of these views is all we've seen lately between the whistles, it's time to lift the curtain on practice and show us something that addresses the increasing questions about this team's will to compete and the coaches' means to this end.

That's about the only answer I can come up anymore. Well, that and the fact that it's now time to drink the ugly away once again. Slainte, ugly motherfuckers.

Drinking Away the Ugly

2010-02-11T00:21:00.000-05:00

ugly

Part of Speech: adjective
Definition: unattractive

Synonyms: animal, appalling, awful, bad-looking, beastly, deformed, disfigured, foul, frightful, grisly, gross, grotesque, hard-featured, hideous, homely, horrid, ill-favored, loathsome, misshapen, monstrous, not much to look at, plain, repelling, repugnant, repulsive, revolting, unbeautiful, uncomely, uninviting, unlovely, unprepossessing, unseemly, unsightly

Pick one, any one. Yep, that about sums it up tonight.

My eyes burn after this one.
<--Watching this one wasn't much better.

So, yeah, good talk.

I'm going to go pour myself an unreasonably tall drink for a Wednesday night & try to forget about the horrors of this evening.

Wanna know something meaningful about the game? Go here, here, or here. This place, well, this place is shutting down before it ever got going (kind of like Dumes tonight). I'd say goodnight, but I'd be fucking lying to ya. This was not a good night.

Slainte.

Overlooking, the Details

2010-02-08T23:21:00.000-05:00

True story:
No sooner than I typed the title of this post, I get a tweet from the Scoop about Crean's radio show tonight. Yeah, the same radio show where Crean acknowledges his team overlooked Iowa. Well, fuck me.

After spending the past day and some change pissed off about IU's lackadaisical escapade in Evanston, I was determined to convince everyone with this post that we're actually a far better team than they think and that the hideous loses to Northwestern and Iowa were the result of IU overlooking its opponents. Not expecting many readers to immediately buy what I was selling, I amassed an arsenal of examples and correlations to support my conclusion.

Now that Crean has admitted it, I'll save you your time. We overlooked Iowa and got our asses kicked at home because of it. And while Crean wants to split hairs about Northwestern's loss being caused by mistakes, let's not parse our words about overlooking = failing to prepare = making mistakes.

The many, many mistakes we made against Northwestern were the result of overlooking yet another opponent and not mentally preparing ourselves for the challenges of defending the Princeton offense. There can be no severing of the causal connection between the 3 sins. We also overlooked Northwestern and again got our asses kicked because of it.

Now that we've established this unsettling fact, let's see what Coach Crean is going to do about it. We've long heard how Crean's team his too fragile to treat heavyhandedly. Fortunately, I've got a copy of the Hoops Rules (Old Testamate) handy and it clearly states that, "if a team is tough enough to overlook an opponent, said team shall be adequately capable of having its ass chewed out and its balls run off until the situation subsides- public humiliation & puke-inducing wind sprints are advised."

There you have it. If they're big enough to look past a conference opponent, they've got to be big enough to be held accountable for their bullshit play. It's time to take the kid gloves off, coach. Benching Dumes sooner would have been nice, but running his ass off until he puked the last time he pulled that shit would've purged his brain of any fleeting thoughts about chucking up another 28-footer in the future.

We've already agreed that some games which are clear losses early on should be used for developmental purposes, so what's the deal about burning minutes for punitive purposes? Shit, don't let Devan dress for OSU after that nonsense; we don't give a fuck.

As we've previously discussed, we've seen some crazy shit on those sidelines. Benching guys for dumbass decisions will not only make this team more accountable, it will earn you extra points from the Faithful, lots of 'em.

And going forward, I'd make damn sure they never, ever forget that we lost to Boston, GMU, and fucking Loyola at home this year. There's no goddamn excuse for allowing them to overlook a Big 10 opponent now.

Whether it's failing to move away from the ball on offense or busting ass back on defense, there can be no tolerating half-assed effort under any circumstances, our present plight not excluded. I'd just as soon see Finkelmeier, Moore, Gambles, Barnett, & Bawa bumblefuck their way through a half and know that they're at least gaining valuable experience than watch our starters grabasstically pretend they're immune from now working their asses off after playing a couple of decent games in a row. Fuck, play with four players if you have to, the place will know exactly what you're doing and love you for it.

No matter how Crean approaches the matter, it's gotta be addressed, and quickly. Because keeping these boys' asses grounded in reality is the coach's job, and that's a detail that isn't being overlooked around here lately.

Closing the Gap

2010-02-05T11:57:00.000-05:00

What a difference a month makes.
Just 29 days after Indiana's conference wake-up call in Columbus, the Hoosiers have covered some serious ground. What appeared to be a hopelessly young team destined to bumble their way through the conference season has morphed into a legitimate conference contender. The magnitude of their metamorphosis is Kafka-esque.

Sure, January saw its share of youthful blunders and execution-ineptitude, but think about what's become at the beginning of February. After taking a giant shat at Value City Arena, IU started the month on a 3-game skid. Then, half-way through the month, the Hoosiers showed us what's to come. With back-to-back wins against Minny and Penn St., the loss of Mo Creek no longer seemed to be the death nail in our conference coffin. And while Iowa proved to be an unlikely trap game (which we leisurely strolled into at our own volition), the past 3 weeks have, for the most part, revealed what inspired basketball looks like again.

No longer must Hoosiers fans loathe tip-time when a ranked opponent rolls into B-town or when the Hoosiers visit a hostile venue. IU somehow found the fortitude to compete these past 3 weeks. Not only is IU competing, they've learned to stop beating themselves in the process. Excluding Iowa, IU has averaged a stingy 12.75 turn-overs a game and a relatively impressive 70.5% from the free throw line. These stats bear witness to the progress Crean has made in teaching his squad the value of ball possession and the essential element of capitalizing on our free throws: our 2 greatest self-inflicted liabilities thus far.

Not surprisingly, this period of improvement has directly corresponded with a marked display of leadership from some of his players. Verdell Jones has shown a visible sense of floor command and situational awareness by timely delivering critical shots at exactly the moment IU needs them. Jeremiah Rivers unfucked his head and moved past his Shaq-tastic free throw hurdles. And dare I say, Tom Pritchard's testicles finally descended and allowed him to play with some nuts for the first time in almost a year (you had to know that one was coming, Chris & Dustin). Jordy is shooting the ball with confidence and no longer hesitating to take the open looks. Add to the mix Capo & Elston's developing roles, and IU is rapidly closing the gap that has kept it from competing on a night-in, night-out basis in the Big 10.

While I'm not ready to bet the farm on a +.500 season, it's growing clear that the resurrection is coming full circle. On any given night, IU can be in the thick of things at the end of the game. And what was previously easier to dismiss as an opponent simply looking past IU to their next game (cough, Pitt, cough, Michigan pt. 1), IU's recent play has erased any chances of being a gimme game going forward. How they respond to the new found attention, however, remains to be seen. But there can be no more arguing that IU is once again relevant in conference play.

I'm increasingly anxious to see if there's not a big upset looming somewhere on the horizon for the young Hoosiers. No matter, the gap between last year's shit-show and this season's promise is growing larger by the minute; the distance today between wins & losses is much, much closer than it was at the close of 2009. Best of all, IU basketball is fun again, and that makes all the difference in the world for this Hoosier.

Game Notes:

-The debut of the Crimson Guard was...uninspiring, to say the least. With the student section less than 1/2 full at tip, it seems clear they've got their work cut out for them. Seriously, Pur-fucking-due for Christ's sakes...on national TV...at 7 pm... for the first red-out in school history. If that doesn't get your dick hard, there may be no amount of Viagra to get the students up for a big game. Speaking of the red-out, or "Crimson Vision," let's call a spade a spade and throw in the towel on color themed promotions. The visual effect of the event provided a view no different than the average outing at Assembly Hall. Because "it's Indiana," let's stop trying to be something we're not. And we're apparently far too independent minded to comply with wardrobe requests (though refuckingdiculous costume sightings were marginally down last night). If we've proven to consistently half-ass attire-based promotions, let's punt the whole fucking notion of creating a dramatic visual theme. Once the gym finally filled, I was adequately impressed with the energy and noise it provided. Shit, my entire section was standing at the 13 minute mark of the 2nd half- a rare feat for my neck of the woods. Let's acknowledge who we are and embrace it for what it is: we just don't seem to give a fuck about color coordination (hence, red v. crimson). And before this portion of the rant concludes, let's talk about the costumes. Why must whomever is in charge of selecting the honorary flag bearers only select costumed buffoons?!? If this is going to get any better, stop highlighting these bastards. Pick a couple of students who are crimsoned out and into the game. It's basic child psychology: encourage the behavior you desire your children to display and ignore that which you'd like not to see repeated.

- Todd Leary. Dude. Oh, dude. Really, dude? It's bad enough to get caught up in something like this, but to have a former teammate thrust into the investigation and be hauled off in the Assembly Hall tunnel in front of your family is simply awful. Now that it's happened, just please don't do anything that would make this worse on your family or those who care about you.

-Scoop Talk. I was compelled to stick around after the game and experience the behind-the-scenes magic of Scoop Talk. And though I allegedly cursed Chris' computer (I thought Macs were immune to that shit) (and apparently curse way too much for the HT to risk making a deposit with the FCC), I enjoyed getting the chance to talk shop with the guys. Watching them ad lib Scoop Talk live proved to be far more entertaining than watching their always-entertaining webcasts. With any luck, there may be a road trip in the future. We'll keep our fingers crossed. As for the swearing, I swear because I care, Chris. And let's just say I care a lot. I could tone it down I guess, but I prefer to keeps it real. Besides, isn't fuck the most useful word?

The Guard's Duty

2010-02-03T20:59:00.000-05:00

After 109 years, the time has finally come. The basketball Hoosiers have an official student section.
What has always been one of the largest, most passionate, and faithful student sections in the nation now has a name: the Crimson Guard. Representing a team whose own nickname isn't easily defined, this development is a significant step towards creating a cohesive identity for this historically intimidating collective of appreciative hoops fans. Better still, they're getting their shit together and getting the word out.

Well....great. So, where does this go from here.? While having a name and an organizational structure are good places to start, what shall be the IDENTITY of this group? Because one can make certain that a name alone does not an identity make.

And while I saw the group is putting together a constitution (good), encouraging early arrival times (great), and specifically denouncing court stroming (outfuckingstanding), the success or failure of the group will likely depend on whether or not they can achieve a buy-in from the students.

The name, Crimson Guard, achieved only a plurality (about 700) of the paltry votes cast (around 3,000 total, or less than 10% of the undergraduate population). Thus, getting the 8,000 or so students who regularly attend games to participate in the group's initiatives could be challenging.

In order to minimize the introduction of potentially divisive or outright fucking ridiculous ideas, I'm proffering a list of some of the things I've learned to loathe around the world of student section shenanigans.

-Bouncing up and down the whole game.
This is just plain fucking stupid. End of story. Any douchebag who wants to tell you how much he's into his team and how hardcore his student section is because their bouncing energy somehow drives the homeboys is a fucking moron of the highest order. Seriously, any dickhole who bounces up and down for nearly two hours should be the poster-child for Adderall, not the model by which all student sections are judged.

-Coming up with cheesy-ass routines for random situations.
Ooooooo. You orchestrated a bunch of spooky gestures to mindfuck your team's opponents. Go fuck yourself and choreograph dance ballet if that's what you're into. Let's keep the focus on the bigger things: helping IU win more games and distinguishing our program from inferior legacies. I know there's some obligatory free throw voodoo that must be created and the like, but try to keep things within reason.

-Be more concerned with the game than showing up on the fan cam.
The level of attention whoring at games has become a serious issue. There's no plausible excuse for showing up with court-level seats dressed a fucking duckling. There just isn't. It's one thing if you feel the need to attract a little attention to yourself, but it's an entirely different matter when you and the gang insist on breaking out the fucktarded superhero costumes every trip to the Hall.

-Don't lose focus of what separates IU fans from the rest: we know, love, and appreciate well-played basketball. True Hoosiers are as easily excited about IU taking a charge as we are a nasty dunk. Seeing a man hit the deck for a lose ball should demand our admiration as much as a streaking shooter knocking down a 3. Assembly Hall has long been home to one of the world's most knowledgeable and appreciative basketball communities. It's student-spectators should strive to display the energy and appreciation deserved by its hallowed hardwood.

-Don't be afraid to disagree with the administration.
While I completely believe you'll need to reach out to many partners for support with guidance or resources, I'd be careful not to buy everything they're selling when it comes to making decisions affecting the group's identity. These are the same people who would have you holding a 4' cut-out of Bart Simpson's head while playing Wii under a disco ball in Assembly Hall wearing a white t-shirt. It may serve you well to thoughtfully review their suggestions in the future before accepting them as presented.

*Editor's Note: Generally, I've been thoroughly impressed with the manner in which Glass' administration has re-directed the athletics dept. Further, I wholly understand the unprecedented nature of the challenges they've faced in filling the stands on 17th St., even the Assembly Hall balcony. That said, however, let's learn from the successes and failures from the last year and make these marketing initiatives first pass a legacy test: run that shit by a non-invested party who possesses a solid understanding of IU's legacy to see if you're creative ideas pass the point of marketability and are generally incompatible with our storied legacy. Ergo: keep the disco balls at Sports.

-Don't underestimate the value of creative thinking. knowledgeable
Sure, anyone can chant "Purdue Sucks" or "Shut Up Weber" in unison. But how many groups can fully describe the horrific wonder that is Gene Kedey's comb-over or articulate the douchey nature of Bruce Weber's whiney persona? With students from all corners of Big 10 country and beyond, the Guard should have a plethora of resources available to come up with original material that properly reflects our basketball passion and intellect.

Assembly Hall shall forever be held in esteemed reverence and renown as a true cradle of the game of basketball. It's students are, and have always been, representative of the character of our beloved program. And with the current incarnation of the basketball Hoosiers being some of the youngest ever to dawn the candy stripes, the energy, enthusiasm, and support of IU's Crimson Guard could not come at a better time. With some proper leadership through its initial period of actualization, it will hopefully grow and prosper into the most feared and intimidating student body in the land. With some proper planning, it will remain in close contact with the qualities that have come to define Indiana's legacy.

Oh yeah, I almost forgot

A New Perspective

2010-01-31T11:39:00.000-05:00

Oh, young Hoosiers. You toy with my heart and mess with my head like no other group ever to wear the candy stripes.
Just when I feel like I know what to expect from you, you turn around to do something completely unexpected. I should know by now that you're young and unpredictable, but goddamn! You turn it around like few teams mine eyes (or Vegas') have ever seen.

But wait, did you really turn it around today, or were you this team all along? Was Iowa just an aberration? Come to think of it, I kind of like that notion: you really did turn a corner against Minnesota and then parlay your roll in Happy Valley. When I erase Iowa from my dissecting mind, you've actually grown up before my very eyes.

Just like the "bad Devan" likes to make occasional appearances, so too the "young Hoosiers" like to pop in every now and then and make everyone think they're too immature to finish a game without self-imploding.

Not today they didn't. Today was a day for the fightin' Hoosiers. Today was a day when young men would put their team on their shoulders and refuse to let the Illini run away from them. Today was a day that made the 6 days since Iowa seem like over a year ago.

The young Hoosiers don't pull down 35 boards to best Illinois' 31. The young Hoosiers don't shoot 86.2% from the line and hit 11 of 12 in the final 10 minutes...on the road. The young Hoosiers don't come back from a 13-point 1st half deficit. Only 13 turnovers, that's not how the young Hoosiers possess the ball. No, these were tomorrow's Hoosiers- in today's bodies, unfortunately.

We were at last tough, but it's too bad there's no "D" in "tough." At least, not as it relates to Demetri McCamey.

No matter, Thursday night just got a whole lot more interesting.

Game notes:

-Hulls' 8 points in the first 7 minutes prevented this one from becoming a run-away right out of the gates, ala last year's tilt.

-VJ3 is the motherfucking man. He, alone, refused to let his homecoming become another embarrassment, again. When he decides to turn it on, he leads these Hoosiers, on both ends of the court.

-Elston found his mojo, but the defensive match-ups & foul-related line-up shuffling made it tough to keep him on the court. His 5 points and 5 boards were humble, yet huge. Given more minutes, I can only imagine his role can expand as he gains more confidence in himself and from his coaches & teammates.

-Capo is beginning to show us why he was given the moniker "Vanilla Gorilla" prior to his arrival on campus. He isn't afraid of a fight or putting his large frame on the floor. With some more development on his footwork and offensive post moves, his contributions should grow exponentially.

-When Rivers stepped to the line with 22 seconds left and the game on the line, I must have done the best Judge Smails of my life. "Oh, Jeremiah. Jeremiah, Jeremiah, Jeremiah, Jeremiah. This is a biggie, Jeremiah. a70-68 Jeremiah." Danny Noonan didn't feel this good after the second free toss fell. "Hey, everybody! We're all going to get laid!!!"

-While Watford spent most of the game iced over, his clutch free throw shooting late in the game was impressive for the freshman.

-Pritchard continued to be Pritchard: lazy with his feet, often out of position, and unable to keep from benching himself with foul trouble. He's well on his way to being relegated to only spelling Capo, Elston, and, dare I say, Tijan.

-Team Africa combined for 12 minutes, 3 boards, and only 2 TOs & 1 foul.

And despite the 600 words above, Ryan Corazza owned this game summary. Korman's perspective shows it's all all making sense, as usual. That is all.

Turbulence Ahead

2010-01-29T21:35:00.000-05:00

Ladies and gentlemen, the Captain has turned on the fasten seat belts sign. We're expecting to hit some turbulence ahead. Please sit back, relax, and do your best to remain calm.

So much for clear skies through Iowa. It looks like the rough patch came a little earlier than expected. And based on the level of turbulence last weekend, the coming weeks could be brutal.

Not only does Pomeroy have us losing out to finish the season, his recent predictions have IU keeping it within single digits only twice in the next eleven predicted loses (Iowa & Northwestern).

And if the drubbing Iowa delivered to the Hoosiers in Assembly Hall has already escaped your memory (I actually wish it would leave mine), keep in mind our remaining home schedule features visits from: Purdue, Ohio St., Michigan St., Wisconsin, and Northwestern. So, yeah, it's not looking real good for our chances of feeling the home-town love and pulling off an upset. Shit, I'd only consider a home win over Northwestern a true upset; a win over any of the other teams would probably qualify as an outright fucking miracle.

I'd like to say our stop in Happy Valley provided me with some solace about our pending road stops, but I'm not quite ready to suspend my disbelief after all the gains of PSU and Minny were seemingly flushed down the tubes last weekend. With remaining tilts at Illinois, Northwestern, Wisconsin, Minnesota, Iowa, and Purdue, we may well stand better chances of stealing a road win than defending Assembly Hall (read: Iowa revenge and Assembly Hall North's (Northwestern) super support).

This, however, is the point of our journey where things get really bumpy. Crean could reasonably spend some portion of the remaining schedule preparing his team for future success, and not necessarily fielding the players which would keep his team closest to their competition. Because developing his future talent may be more valuable to Crean's rebuilding project than playing the best available players throughout the game, Crean may inevitably walk into a catch-22. Rancor could grow to a fever pitch if Crean is perceived to be tanking games for the benefit of giving a few guys (Capo, Elston, & Bawa) some quality minutes where they'll be supremely challenged. On the other hand, should Crean continue to try to scratch out wins by keeping Pritchard and Dumes' rotations around their average, he will likely be criticized for not using the opportunity to develop his future workhorses for their coming battles.

Granted, with Creek out at the #2 spot, there's certainly an argument to be made that Dumes' presence isn't stealing much time from any one player, and that his defense abilities give IU a net gain with him in the rotation. I'd counter this position by noting his propensity to derail the offense with his untimely shots and inconsistent will to drive the lane; VJ3 and Rivers seem to be far more predictable in these regards and more frequently fit within what Crean appears to want out of his offensive action. And on the defensive end, forcing Hulls & VJ3 into more difficult assignments now can only improve their ability to step up their D in the coming years.

And if my position needed further muddling, there's Tijan. The founding member of Team Africa never quite developed into the, um, defensive specialist many Hoosiers hoped he might become. But while his contributions to the box score have been anemic, his presence in fans' hearts has rivaled few others. Crean may face a tremendous obstacle in deciding how, if at all, to pepper in some Tijan-time throughout the remainder of the schedule. Personally, I'd like to see Tijan to return to his point position in the 1-3-1 zone for at least 5 defensive possessions a game.

Tomorrow's trip to Champaign should provide a good indicator as to how effective Crean & his staff have been in using the bye week to re-instill the fight in his young team. Playing in front of one of the most hostile crowds they'll see this year, IU's re-forged mettle will be put to the test. The results of which should give us an idea just how bumpy the path ahead is going to be. Moreover, we'll see how Crean plans to utilize the battles ahead to set the course for next year a little early.

*As an aside, does the Illinois rivalry really qualify as a rivalry if most Hoosiers fans could give a shit about the Illini? Sure, most all of us would agree that Bruce Weber is a classless, whiny fuckstick, but that's mainly our feelings about him, individually. The fact that he happens to coach a conference opponent only makes his team rivals by association. Further, the fact that most Hoosiers could really give a shit about Illinois (save their punk-ass coach) should completely disqualify them from being considered our rival. The truth is most Hoosiers only really care about beating Kentucky & Purdue on a regular basis. Sure, nobody wants to ever lose or be another team's perennial bitch, but a loss to Illinois does not a broken Hoosier heart make. Now, when the shoe's on the other foot...

Our Turn

2010-01-21T22:37:00.000-05:00

On a night when foul trouble could have easily substituted for free throws as our fatal flaw, IU turned on its swagger and turned off its youth.
After waiting for Vega's prophecy to come to bear (a late game melt-down after 35 minutes of decent ball), IU turned a page on the record books and likely a turned a corner in the Crean resurrection project. It was a veritable Hoosier trifecta: 1st true road win in almost 2 full years, a wire-to-wire lead (save 2 brief ties) that would have been surrendered on any other night before this, and a boost to 5th in the conference standings (forget the fact that it's just the 3rd week of conference play, we're in 5th-FUCKING-PLACE!!!). Oh, yeah. We also pissed on PSU's 3-game streak against IU.

This was big. Real big. I'd almost have sanctioned the road fans storming the Bryce Jordan court after this one (but I'll donkey punch anyone who ever tries to strom a PSU win at home). This win, however, has nothing to do with Penn St. (save the fact that their poor selection of basketball players to accompany Taylor Battle all but handed us this win). This was all about what IU took and not what Penn St. gave us.
IU took a sweeping turn for the better tonight.

This turn is where Crean has been dying to take his players and followers since he arrived. For all his rah-rah tweets, Crean has been spot on about his young squad needing to learn to compete and using every small success as a stepping stone to its next challenge. Winning on the road and at least competing for something other than bottom of the conference is absolutely essential in building confidence in the program, inside and outside of it.

College Station marked the turning point where the Hoosiers started dictating pace and matching its opponent blow for blow after establishing a lead. The new direction revealed a team that played comfortably within the boundaries of its limitations and without its familiar, self-defeating tendencies (read: free throws, turnovers, & ill-advised shots at exactly the wrong moment).

We've all heard of the "Michigan left turn," but IU seemed to have taken the "Minnesota right" after Sunday's overtime win. Suddenly we're heading towards a 3-game conference streak and a plus .500 record past the mid-way point of the season.

Don't get me wrong; I'm not seeing a mirage of post-season play & conference relevance, but let's savor the view for just a moment before we resume what could soon be another 10 or 11-game losing streak. No matter what the road ahead may hold for our Hoosiers, we'll never again speak of Crean's 1st IU road win. We'll never again see a 1 or 2 win conference season. We'll never lack a positive reference point when the game's on the line, the crowd and the refs are against us, and our opponent's on the ropes.

All those things are in the rear view mirror now. We've turned that corner. Hopefully, Crean's Tom-Tom knows the fasted route to the next turn.

Love on the Rocks

2010-01-11T23:47:00.000-05:00

Another loss, another reason for the message boards to ignite with inflammatory opinions on the fitness of Coach Crean to lead the Hoosiers.

It appears as though the honeymoon is officially over for Tom Crean & the Indiana faithful. And while the marriage is nowhere near splitsville yet, the time has arrived for some newlywed counseling. Being one who is deeply enamored with both parties, I will take it upon myself to try to mediate this dispute.

To the Faithful:
To begin, we need to clear the air about a few things. Let's acknowledge that you've brought some baggage into the relationship. Lots of it, actually. You're clearly still recovering from 3 recent divorces in the last 10 years.  It's understandable that you're a little bitter with coaches following all the pain caused by your prior, failed relationships. Coach Kinght was your long-time steady, but was abusive, insensitive, and known to toss your shit around when he got mad. Coach Davis was there for you on the rebound and swept you off your feet when he took you dancing, but he was aloof & uncomfortable in your presence. Coach Sampson...well, you knew he was a bad boy when you started with him, but he told you everything you wanted to hear at the time and then turned around and cheated on you...a lot.

So, you've now found your prince charming, and you were sure this would be the one. But faster than the ink can dry on your nuptials, you're already upset with the direction things are going.  Specifically, you're unhappy with the kids your new coach has brought into the relationship. (Actually, they're your kids, too, and they bear your name.)  And while you did a good job dealing with them as infants last season, your tolerance has all but disappeared now that they're toddlers.

This is most disappointing. I understand you're excited to get back to the glory days, but you need to keep things in perspective. There's only 10 teams in the country with less D-1 experience this season. It's going to take some time (and an influx of more talent) to turn things around.  Besides, if banners were that easy to hang, Purdue would already have a couple (but they don't!!!)

Worse yet, you're bitching to anyone who'll listen about the job Crean is doing in raising these boys. Sure, I'll admit I'm often frustrated at the seeming lack of coordinated offense, but I know this isn't the way Crean would ideally run his offense. Until he gets the proper pieces, he's gonna have to play the hand he's been dealt as best as he can.

In sum, you need to come to grips with the fact that that you're in this thing for the long haul. There are no magic bullets to make a 6th banner miraculously appear. It's going to take some time and a heckuva lot more patience on your end. Moreover, you need to stop being so damn high-maintenance about this thing. Everybody knows you're not happy with 6-win seasons or 20+ turnover games. I promise you Crean isn't either. But the more you piss and moan about it, the harder you're making it on everybody else. Continuing to publicaly rant about our family struggles only makes the family look more dysfunctional. Because while you can't choose your family, they're the only one you've got. Love it for what it is and embrace it. The sooner you come to grips with this, the soon your beloved family may once again be at the pinnacle of success and stability.

To Coach Crean:
I've gotta believe that you knew exactly what you were getting into after your whirlwind courtship. You said so much when you said, "It's Indiana." And because it's Indiana, you know the expectations are high (if not impossible).

And while you've wholly embraced the challenges of this particular relationship, you've got to know there's certain things which come being the man of the ~~house~~ Hall. Just as graduating players and running a clean program are expected of you, so, too, discipline, determination, and effort are not negotiable, under any circumstances.

Now, nobodys saying you personally lack these traits, but your boys are a direct reflection upon you. Their faults are vicariously your faults. Nobody ever said it was fair, but it is what it is and it's been very difficult to watch. I'm not saying you don't know this already (you're anything if not acutely aware, I'm sure), but understand it's not just about wins and losses. It's how you win and lose.

And when I say "how you lose," you might think I'm talking about those losses to Northeastern, Lipscomb, Michigan, Boston, Loyola, et al. I'm not. (Well, kind of, but not in the way you think.) It's not so much as the lowly caliber of the teams that have beaten us or the leads we've surrendered in the process, but rather the way in which you've gracefully taken it all in stride. Don't get me wrong, I deeply admire your composure and respect you a ton because of it. As far as I can tell, however, your greatest personal flaw seems to be a one-year Diet Coke binge (and possibly a crippling aversion to recruiting capable big men).

But here's the rub: we're used to accepting flawed characters as our coach.  After a lifetime dealing with emotionally unstable men in this position, we've kind of grown to become dependent on our coaches' personal shortcomings to reflect our own emotional instabilities over the declining status of our beloved program. Following a decade and a half of diminishing prominence, we've become quite insecure about our family's shortcomings these days. And when we post a historically horrible record, blow a 20-point lead against Lipscomb at home, or take a giant shit in the clutch of a Big Ten game which we should have won, the Hoosier Faithful begin to flip shit. Big time.

You on the other hand, manage to take it all in stride, barely waivering from the predictable objectiveness which has become the hallmark of your public comments. Sure you pace from the coach's box to the end of bench like a caged beast, but your composure compels you to keep from berating the refs over their obvious disrespect for your team. And while you tweet your less-than-ambiguous criticisms like the best of 'em, you steadfastly avoid throwing any players under the bus for their bumblefuckedness.

Please don't take these examples as suggesting that you're probably not doing the "right thing" by treating the refs with respect and protecting your players' fragile psyches.  You unquestionably are.  But you've got to understand that your partner in this relationship, the Faithful, sometimes need some not-too-subtle reminders that you feel their pain, that you agonize over their plight (like I said, they're high-maintenance).

Thus, let me offer a few suggestions for you to show a little empathy. The next time your team is blatantly getting buttfucked by the zebras, light one of those blind bastards up and take a T (I know you've previously said your stature and salary demand more of you, but trust me on this one- the place will go fucking bananas).

When the boys fail to get off the bus for the next embarrassing road loss, leak a little locker room audio of you reaming some ass (and if you wanted to mention that Pritchard needs to wipe his vagina before putting on the candy stripes, that'd be pretty cool, too).

When Korman needles you about the next "what exactly was ______ all about" in next post-game presser, unleash a profanity laden tirade about exactly what the fuck that was and how you're gonna stomp that shit out before the next time they take the court.

You see, we've seen some pretty crazy shit from our coaches around here. And while most outsiders view this kind of behavior as anti-social and unbecoming of a major D-1 coach, we've actually learned to love seeing our coaches' passion reflect that of our own and, just like we ourselves tend to do, lose control a little bit on occasion. Though the bar has been set pretty high, we need you to reach for it every now and then. Just to let us know you feel our pain.

In addition to some of our emotional needs, there's some other things festering under the surface here. After nearly 3 decades watching some of the most disciplined teams ever to take the court, the past several years have been rather difficult, to say the least. Watching Coach Knight's motion offense was like listening to Motzart conduct. And while running pure motion offense is about as popular as Motzart with today's players, that doesn't make it any easier watching poorly executed NBA sets at Assembly Hall.  Don't get me wrong, you shouldn't have to change who you are or what philosophies you subscribe to, but some effective screaning would be a welcome sight and probably free up some looks (Capo seems to relish this role).

Also, we need to talk about your charitable efforts. Charity has always been a hallmark of the Indiana family, specifically our efforts at the charity stripe. You even discussed so much after Ill-annoy. We've always made more free throws than our opponents attempted. This fact has about as much to do with those conference championship banners as anything. Call it Hoosier sensibility if you will: they're called "FREE" throws because they're free, you might as well fucking make them. Most Faithful would sooner see Gene Keady take a grumpy at center court than watch the Hoosiers shoot 66% from the line.

Lastly, something needs to be said about your ~~house~~ Hall work. Assembly Hall isn't just a gym, it's a national basketball cathedral. Your efforts to re-fill the stands, while well-intentioned, have bordered on the blasphemous. It's one thing pump a little rock and roll over the speakers. It's an entirely different sin to turn the student section into a caricature of a passionate student body. And ever since the big heads have come out, refuckingdiculous costumes have skyrocketed. To add insult to injury, other sinners are beginning to take notice. Let's work a little more on winning games, and less on gimmicking it up, and the Hall will be full and rockin' again, I promise you.

See, doesn't everyone feel better now that we've had a chance to talk about some of our needs, wants, and differences? I sure do. If we can work a little harder on communicating, meeting each others emotional needs, and focusing on our shared visions, there's no reason this marriage shouldn't last a lifetime. And with a little luck, we'll once again renew our vows and exchange rings real soon.

Well, That Blows

2010-01-10T10:28:00.000-05:00

The Ilini Whistle Stop Tour blew threw Assembly Hall (the one with the banners, that is, not the space ship) tonight like the shuddering winds that Bloomington has grown accustomed to lately.

And man was it cold.

Not cold like the 8 degree temps outside, but cold like a 27.4% drop off field goal percentage in the second half. Cold like being 55.6% from the charity stripe (20% in the final 5 minutes). Cold like 28 whistles against IU to Illinois 17. Cold like 19 2nd half points. Burrrrrr!

Following a half spent watching some of IU's most inspired play this season, it seemed inevitable that winds of fortune were going to change direction when play resumed. And just as surely as you can count on Bruce Weber making an ass out of himself on the bench, IU's luck slowly froze up in the critical final minutes of the game.

Gone were the grit and toughness Tom Crean had all but begged for following the embarrassment that was the OSU game. Gone was the team ball on both ends of the court that propelled IU to a 13 point halftime lead. Gone was our ability to keep Illinois from exploiting Tisdale & McCamey's inside-out effectiveness against our undersized squad. In the end, we were left only with a magnet for whistles tied around our necks, a recurring paralysis at the free throw line, and a healthy serving of some vintage Bruce Weber whine.

And without resorting to the moral victory trap which Tom Crean avoids at all costs, there were some promising signs in tonight's performance. Bobby Capobianco earned his first start and repaied the honor by plastering his body against any Illini within his reach and pulling down a couple boards, while keeping several more alive off his tips. Though his 2 points came off of the only field goal attempted, it's not a stretch to imagine him filling in more in place of Tom Bitchard, who in almost as many minutes as Capo was able to pull down 3 boards, 0 points, and 4 impressive fouls.

Hulls not only continues to display more confidence in his jumper, but the team increasingly feeds off of his leadership.  The ball rotation that led to his open looks was tremendous. Similarly, the communication on defense also seemed to peak during this period.

Rivers, likewise, seemed to find his stroke a bit and let his defense fuel his offense.  (For the life of me, however, I will never understand how a guard who's dad is a fucking NBA coach can be so abysmal from the line. Seriously. It's beyond comprehension.)

Having no idea what in the hell is going on in practices, save the absence of shoulder pads this week (wtf, Weber?), I'm left wondering what's driven a wedge between Elston and his prior playing time. Reduced to Danny Moore minutes tonight, Elston seemed to bring the inside toughness Crean has been lacking.  I'm just not sure what gives there.

Bitchard, you're possibly the biggest pussy ever to dawn an Indiana jersey. Dude, you're 6'9", 250 lbs. Fucking do something with that big ass body to justify your minutes, if not also your scholarship. Play with some pride and find a way to contribute something to your team.  It appears Crean is squarely referring to you in most of his disgruntled comments about lazy bullshit.  Get it together or get to looking for a place to transfer.

If there's any cold comfort to take away from this game, nay this season, it seems few teams are as capable as the Hoosiers in beating IU. We simply seem to lose more games on our own than the other teams beat us. And while that's correctable, well, that still blows.

The Relapse

2010-01-07T21:43:00.000-05:00

relapse, noun
-Middle English, from Medieval Latin relapsus, from Latin relabi to slide back, from re- + labi to slide 1 : the act or an instance of backsliding, worsening, or subsiding
2 : a recurrence of symptoms of a disease after a period of improvement

24 turnovers, 9 assists, 34% from the field, 46.2% fga allowed, and a defense that guards beyond the arc like France defends its borders. It was like '08-'09 redux. (and if you believe the official box score that OSU didn't block us, I've got some ocean-front property to sell you.)

Considering IU came into the game averaging 15.6 TOs, 15 assists, 74.6 pts/gm, 44% fg, and 40.8% fga, it's amazing how fragile progress can be, especially on the road.

So much for the exuberance following the Michigan victory, it's gonna be a long fucking season.

And as though the pains of watching IU take a shit at OSU weren't bad enough, BTN has to pour Shon Morris into my wounds. At this point I'm ready to amputate my ears. I'm dumber for having to listen to his mindless babble. Note to the BTN: Shon is not good at: talking, talking about basketball, or talking about things even tenuously related to basketball. Come to think of it, it appears as though he pretty much sucks at life.

D I R J F S T?

2009-12-23T15:20:00.000-05:00

"Did I really just fucking see that?" Those were my buddy's parting words this evening & the same question I can't stop asking myself over an hour and a half later. I knew we had seen "that," but I'm only now beginning to wrap my mind around what "that" actually was. After consulting with the interwebs, it appears "that" is summarized in the following equation:

26 + 11 + 3 = 6

26 minutes of the most uninspired play I've ever seen in Assembly Hall

11 minutes of the most promising Hoosier run of the Crean era

3 minute of WTF

The 6, we'll get to that a little later on. Let's start from the beginning.
Fortuitously, we decided to have some drinks before the game. Otherwise, the 6 minute and 17 second draught that started the game would've left us all undressing ourselves in disdain, but probably less profanity laced. By the time Watford was finally able to sink IU's first bucket, the Hoosiers had posted 10 TOs, 5 missed shots, 4 fouls, and 15 points allowed. At the 10-minute mark, IU was on pace to put up 16 points on the night, and I was on pace to be asked to leave Assembly Hall by halftime.

The first 26 minutes of the game provided an unwelcomed reminder of how woefully ineffective our young squad can be and how eager they can be to get a jumpstart on Christmas vacation. On the one year anniversary of last season's reality check against Northeastern,  IU once again demonstrated how a semester's worth of lessons can be quickly forgotten after finals have ended.

And no sooner than the Ghost of Christmas Past had visited me with a a reminder of how we only won one game after the solstice last season, the next 11 minutes proved to be the most inspired run ever seen in the Crean-era. Once Patsos decided to take the air out of the ball to protect his 20-pt. lead, the Hoosiers finally decided to bring it and took the game over. Playing with pride, determination, and guts, IU battled their way back into the game with stifling defensive pressure and relentless offensive attacks. During this stretch, the Hoosiers outscored Loyola   27-5, forced 7 TOs, and pulled down 13 boards, while committing only 5 fouls.

And right about the time I was ready to start dancing a Christmas miracle comeback jig, the wheels just fell off. The final 211 ticks saw IU score only 2 points, while missing 5 FGs, turning the ball over 3 times, and committing 4 fouls. The dagger in most Hoosiers' hearts, however, is without question Jeremiah Rivers' 4 consecutive misses from the free throw line.  Having largely driven the Hoosiers' comeback effort, the leader of our young team inexplicably left his teammates hanging as he clanked shot after shot off the rim. Crean was correct in stating in his post-game presser that the comeback wouldn't have happened without Rivers, but the loss probably wouldn't have happened either if he steps up and knocks down the freebies in the clutch. There is no way to qualify how critical his first two misses were, as IU clung to a 2-point lead with about 2 minutes to go.

All this brings us back to that mysterious 6 which we began with. After watching the rollercoaster that was IU's December schedule, it has become clear that the Hoosiers' greatest obstacle may well be the 6 inches between their own ears.  Without taking this variable into account, it is impossible to reconcile how this team can stay stride for stride with Kentucky for 20 minutes and lay a 4-point egg in the first 10 minutes against Loyola. There's no doubt this year's team is exponentially more talented and athletic than last year's, but it can be truly frightening to see how many similarities there can be when young, inexperienced players fail to properly focus their talents & efforts into the particular challenges of each game. Whatever it is that determines whether we see the 1st half Kentucky Hoosiers or the 1st half Loyola Hoosiers, it's squarely contained within the 6" between the Hoosiers' ears.

While their improved speed, athleticism, and strength may differientiate them from last year's historically horrible season, Tom Crean summized it best after the game, "that's a fragile group of guys in there." Indeed, Coach Crean, indeed.

Plastered In The Paint (?)

2009-12-19T09:30:00.000-05:00

As far as I can tell, there aren't many (read: any) stat sites which list national, college stats for points in the paint or shot selection by court location. (Can somebody get Santa to forward my list to Ken Pomeroy, please?!)

However, I was able to pull the P.i.P. info from the IU box scores, and discerned some interesting info on some of my preconceived notions on our post play. The Hoosiers have outscored their opponents 287-276 on the season in the paint. (Huh, no shit, says I.)

Okay, we'll take out the powder-puffs (Howard, USC Upstate, & NW St.): IU- 166, Opponents- 208. Not quite the statistical prison raping I'd expected to see there either. Perhaps our startling, inside ineptitude against Kentucky (44-26), Maryland (38-18), and George Mason (42-20) has just burned that perception into my mind (giving up 50 in the paint to Ole' Miss was only marginally offset by putting up 42 ourselves).

Add into the mix the fact that we've been out-rebounded by more than 20 twice this season (UK-25 & Boston-20), and it's easy to see how some can feel as though our post play leaves us at a significant disadvantage (read: FUCT), particularly with the physical conference season right around the corner.

Since even the best of 'em can't coach tall (or teach Tijan to alley oop at least once a game), I'd suggest we work more dribble-drives & mid-range jumpers into the offense to create some more space for our bigs to operate in the paint. (A note on dribble-driving: if Jeremiah has the ball, every motherfucker on the court needs to be prepared to catch a pass. He'd drop more dimes than a chicken-wire change purse if dudes would just be prepared for the pass.)

One bright spot I noticed: we've outscored our opponents on points off turnovers 147-134 on the season. Even if you remove the softies from the mix, we're still ahead 86-80. Considering last year's pummelling in this category, I'd say there's hope for Crean's guard-driven philosophies.

With the traditional holiday turkeys coming into the Hall over break, I'm not expecting much in the way of statistically significant outcomes. However, I'd recommend keeping a close eye on the P.i.P. stats once the Big 10 starts to determine whether or not our lack of contributing bigs will continue to haunt us for the foreseeable future. And with that, I'm off to catch up with some dear, old IU friends for the weekend in the region & plan on doing my part to keep John Jameson & Sons well capitalized throughout the holidays.

The Hurrying (to mature) Hoosiers

2009-12-17T11:07:00.000-05:00

The years teach much which the days never knew. ~Ralph Waldo Emerson

In my hunt for some stats about points in the paint today, I happened to stumble across one of Pomeroy's jewels and nearly shit myself = Indiana 0.89 (338) .

0.89, you ask? That's the average number of years of college experience for our young Hoosiers this season, the 10th least-experienced team in the nation.

We all knew last year's team as about as wet behind the ears & inexperienced as any team ever fielded, 0.66 (2nd youngest in the nation), but, despite our large class of frosh this year, the improvements in our youthful blunders have been immense.

Take for example our turnover %:
26.4% last season (#342 nationally, 3rd worst in the country)
20.8% this year (#155 nationally)

Steal %:
13.5% last season (next to last in the nation)
9.7% this year (#164 nationally)

Opponents' FG%:
54.6% last season (#334 nationally)
46.8% this year (#121 nationally)

These improvements are staggering, considering how we remain one of the youngest teams in the country, yet again. (Consider this, however, Kentucky ranks #332 in experience this season. While that may explain their their abysmal TO% (23.5%), their speed, length, and athleticism more than compensates for their youth (see: 4th in offensive boards, 3rd in blocks, 7th in height, & 14th in 2pt FG defense) The lesson of the day: athleticism > youth (& Blue Jesus is flat fucking amazing!)).

Shot selection, though, appears to remain as one of our greatest youth-related liabilities. Consider our opponents' block %:
14.3% last season (absolute worst in the nation)
13.4% this year (#325 nationally)
We're clearly not passing the ball as often as we're shooting contested shots (primarily in the lane). Considering the increased depth of shooters on the court this year, I can only chalk this up to youth (and a glaring lack of potent, post scoring- we may not need sumo wrestlers, Coach Crean, but we could surely use some better inside scoring options (read: NOT PRITCHARD)).

In sum, it seems Crean & Co. have quickly began turning our boys into men. They've learned to value the ball, defend their basket, and stop dribbling the ball off their fucking feet at every opportunity. How quickly they learn to attack zone defenses, defend the baseline, crash the boards & own the paint remains to be seen. Unfortunately, the recruiting horizon doesn't seem to offer much hope in the way of supplying the bigs needed to compensate for some of these liabilities. Thus, it seems Elston, Capobianco, Muniru, and, gulp, Jobe must cram in the necessary lessons in order to keep the conference season from tanking our grade this season. (Yes, I've completely given up hope on Pritchard and soon expect him to experience the same tragic welcome once reserved for Sean Kline.)

On inbreds, cheats, & Blue Jesus (aka Kentucky)

2009-12-13T14:01:00.000-05:00

For a second there, I had to wipe my eyes and remind myself I wasn't at Memorial Stadium. (Aside from the banners, the packed & raucous crowd, and competent coaching) It seemed as though the basketball team had taken on the identity of the football Hoosiers: an unbelievably effective 1st half performance followed by a tremendous, and predictable, letdown in the 2nd half.

If nothing else, Mo Creek picked a helluva occasion to make his coming out party. On an afternoon that everyone expected to be owned by Blue Jesus, it was Creek that shined the brightest. Sure, Bledsoe was largely the deciding player in the game, but without Creek, IU would've looked about as fit for the Cats as it did last year. Had Creek shot his season avg. going into the game, it'd been a 30+ point blow-out. He was HUGE.

Other points of interest:
-Game-day traffic was a bad as I've seen it in a long time around Assembly Hall: about 35 minutes from the time I first hit the breaks until I finally pulled into my spot. Glass should take a look at that as he did with football. While football draws far more people, at least their arrival times are more dispersed due to tailgating.

-The Stripe-Out was as grabasstic as I've seen any attire-themed promotion at IU. Fucking pathetic. If you're going to do it, do it right, and do something red. Even the tenured cotton balls in the sweet seats won't fuck it up- you can always count on them to show up early, wear red, and be eager to sit down through even the most riveting of contests.

-Another thing, the costumes have gotten out of control. Throw in the big heads, and it's like a complete fucking circus in the student section. It's like they can't decide if they're going to a basketball game or a masquerade ball. If nothing else, at least try to tie in something IU-related in the costumes. Otherwise, you just look like an attention-whoring asshole preening for your 4 seconds on the fan cam.

-Speaking of pathetic attire decisions, our newly minted "Crimson Guard" student section shirts arrived & THEY'RE WHITE!!! Who the fuck made the decision to name them "Crimson" anything and then dawn them in white shirts?!?! Unfuckingbelievable. Some dipshit, drunk guido who seemingly learned everything he knows about IU basketball from the neons & mirrors at Sports told me they were free. I suspect athletics pushed the roll-out of the student section naming & the shirts way too fast & without the proper resourcing to make it work. Pass the torch to the S.A.B. & let them sell the fucking things, printed on red shirts, for a nominal fee that'll support whatever the hell it is that they do. Can you imagine the Orange Crush in white? It's mind boggling retarded to even think that someone thought this was a good idea. Oh, shit. Pardon me if I forgot this blog was about basketball for a second. The prior issues just started my day off on the wrong foot.

-From the way the Hoosiers came out of the gate, it's clear to see that: a) Crean & his staff game plan with the best in the nation; b) the team is buying into what the coaches are selling; and c) we can compete with some damn good teams when we're motivated and properly focused (just not quite yet for 40 minutes).

-After his 3rd 3-ball, I kept waiting for this to happen every time Creek shot the ball. The kid was en fuego. When the 3's are falling, we can get away with being inept inside. Problem is, few team can shoot that way the entire game. Once Kentucky began defending the 3-line, the shots dried up. And without any meaningful penetration to kick out from, we just don't have the sets to create good looks from the arch.

-I'm pretty sure I've seen better boxing out in paraplegic leagues than I did today. Seriously. It was atrocious. You'd think that anyone who's played with Dumes for more than a week would be ready to rebound.

-I'm at a loss to understand why Pritchard starts. His box score reads like he's the 3rd guy off the bench- though he does lead the team in fouls. If his only role is to hack away at the other teams' bigs, why not let Tijan or Bawa fill in to goon it up? At least they'd get the crowd into it and maybe scare the shit out of some people. How much longer can he keep Elston from stealing his spot?

-Our response to zone defense is frighteningly perplexed. Without any capable attackers or designed action (read: MOVEMENT) we will see it every game when we're starting to build some offensive momentum. Points off turnovers may bridge some of the gap, but we've got to learn to break down the zone. As my brother loves to point out, most players learned the basic concepts of this counter-offense around 6th grade, & I'm still at a loss to understand why Crean and his staff haven't come up with some action to counter it yet.

-All in all, it was a decent outing. While I never like to see us give up 90 in the Hall, I never expected us to put up 73 on Kentucky. Holding Wall to 11 may someday be spoken of in the same breath as Dakich's defensive performance against MJ. Lucky for us, Jesus will have left Lexington by the time we head down there next year. We're showing measurable signs of improvement with each game. Unfortunately, I'm using a tape measurer for a job better suited for an odometer.

The Revival

2009-12-12T22:03:00.000-05:00

A funny thing happened on the way to the worst season in Hoosier history. After spending a lifetime living and breathing IU basketball, I decided to start a blog. And a nice little streak I went on. But not 40 days after launching this little shit show, I could no longer take it. It became too much for this Hoosier to bear. It's not that I stopped attending the games or talking about them incessantly with anyone who'd listen, I was as dutiful as ever. Rather, by penning the Chronicles I somehow was forced to confront those musings and accept them as my most honest expressions and feelings about IU basketball.

Truth is, it fucking hurt, BAD. And despite my daily bantering about the unprecedented nature of Crean's resurrection project and how it wouldn't be long before we were back on track, watching the clusterfuck that was last season burned my eyes and wrenched my heart. It came to feel as though Miles Brand had taken a giant shit on my soul. As much as I quickly came to enjoy the feeble little forum I'd created, I sooner realized that my words had to be true to my feelings, and they weren't pretty.

Thus, I had to shut it down. It's one thing to be cut, but it's an entirely different matter to be the asshole pouring salt in your own wounds. Worse yet, the posts rapidly became desperate and overly melodramatic. (Hey, what can I say? There's only so many ways one can describe excruciating pain.) However, I digress.

And while the pain of last year has numbed but not disappeared, the healing of this year's progress has stirred my inner scribe again. Coupled with a career change during this same period that's left me writing far less, I'm ready to dive back into the Chronicles anew.

Call it a revival of sorts. With Crean's squad displaying shades of recognizable Hoosier basketball, hope has been resurrected. So, too, my need to say some shit can no longer be denied. I can't promise much in the way of regular content (or cohesive, cognisant thought for that matter), but I'm fairly certain this season will provide plenty angles to explore.

Sooo.....keep checking back, and I'll try to keep dropping whatever's on my mind. I'm also going to spend some time updating the gadgets & page stuff that, hopefully, makes this spot worth an occasional visit.

Moral Devastation & Random Acts of Kindness

2009-01-08T11:02:00.000-05:00

For Tom Crean, there's no such thing as "moral victories." Conversely, there can be no such thing as "moral devastation" for his young Hoosiers, either.

For IU fans, however, both have become our new realities. Last night's game against Michigan provided fans with exactly 20 minutes of each. (Those 5 bonus minutes at the end don't count in either category. Rather, they only served to give the team a lifetime's worth of motivation to perform at the free throw line in the future.)

Instead of devoting an entire post to the devastating and dichotomous tendencies of this young team, I'll reduce it to 4 words, the very same words I'd utter to any teenager participating in unprotected sex just before the final horn is about to blow: PULL IT OUT, SON!!!!!

Oh, Devan. Like the Duggar family, you've just got to learn when to pull it out.

Nope, there's no need to get into the gut-twisting events of last night. No need to bitch about swallowed whistles, 28 foot 3's, or consecutive 20-point-leads blown at home.

Instead, I'm going to share a story about a guy I met in the concessions line at halftime. While I never got his name, we both shared a look of exuberance and anxiety while waiting in line for some snacks next to one another. Upon seeing his expression and feeling the same way he looked, I asked if he was at the Hall for the Lipscomb game.

He responded in the negative, and said this was the first game he'd been to in a long time. He explained that, earlier in the summer, he'd seen an article in the Star which mentioned that Crean receives 60 tickets per game as part of his contract.

My friend of the foot-longs explained to me that he then wrote Crean a letter, welcoming him to IU, thanking him for his energy and optimism, and asking for consideration if Crean should ever find himself holding on to a couple of extra tickets.

As it turns out, the guy's phone rang Tuesday. The caller was Tom Crean, and he wondered if one day's notice was too short to come down to Bloomington and catch the conference home opener.

My popcorn pal said he'd have been out the door and in the car had Crean called 20 minutes before tip. The extra time, he said, allowed him to bring his daughter with him.

The elderly gentleman never indicated where his seats were, but I noticed him return to the gym through the Section J tunnel and proceed downwards. Half-court seats, below the tunnels, not too shabby for some postal pandering.

With every game, press conference, and interview, Crean gives me something to make me respect him even more.

As if last night's opening half, and the pre-game preparations it reflected, weren't enough, this man's story left me with enough respect for Crean to last the entire season.

On the way out of the lobby, I saw my friend again. He noticed the look of apparent devastation on my face, smiled, and said, "You know that's the same team that beat UCLA and Duke this season? We almost had 'em, didn't we?"

Begrudgingly, I concurred, "Yes we did. Almost had 'em."

Looking back, we may have lost the game, but there's no doubt in my mind that Crean won a fan for life last night.

Make that 2 fans.

Nuclear Winter

2008-12-23T11:40:00.000-05:00

There is no more need for theoretical conceptualization, we now know what it looks like.

This is nuclear winter in Bloomington.

10 months after IU detonated the K(elvin)-bomb, Carl Sagan's toxic nightmare has unfolded at Assembly Hall. In the wake of the team's decimation- Crean referred to it as "gutting" tonight- Branch McCrackin Court has become a barren wasteland for Hoosier basketball. Its recent inhospitable conditions are producing unheard of numbers for the boys in candy stripes.

Lowest temperature ever recorded at home: IU-42 (12.22.8)

Largest lead ever surrendered in a home loss: 21 (12.28.8)

Highest turnover ranking in history: 327th out of 330 (12.9.8)

Home free throw avg.: 50% (12.28.8- any night lower?)

Now that the solstice has passed and winter officially arrived in Indiana, it seems Hoosier basketball, too, couldn't be any further from the sun. These are cold, dark days, indeed.

So much for that whole thing about ~~mutually~~ self assured destruction as a nuclear deterrent (it does, however, seem to work as NCAA repentance).

Student Athletes & The Paper Chase

2008-12-21T00:17:00.000-05:00

Add to the long list another story about NCAA athletes chasing paper. This one's got all the usual elements: vast sums of money, additional benefits, highly coordinated programs developed by AD's and financed by boosters; we've heard it all before. This time, however, the paper chase isn't about Benjamins, but rather college degrees.

Chris Talbott of the AP dropped this article Saturday, with some contribution from local AP writer, Michael Marot, about the increasing use, cost and success of the academic support services provided to NCAA athletes. The AP polled 65 schools from the six major conferences involved in the Bowl Championship Series plus independent Notre Dame and obtained at least some financial information from 45 schools about the resources they devote to graduating athletes.

Not surprisingly, the AP found that overall spending on academic support services has increased dramatically since the NCAA implemented the APR. The AP's survey also revealed that most schools are spending in excess of $1 million annually on academic support services, and that many schools are spending tens of millions of dollars to upgrade their academic support facilities.

Yep, sounds about like 17th St. to me. Nothing surprising about national trends being reflected in the actions of IU athletics.

And with most cases involving athletics administration, this one has the usual criticism from faculty members about the disproportionate costs of the services for athletes compared to non-athletes, the oversight of the academic support staffs, and the continued isolation of the athletes from the rest of the university community.

For years, these same faculty folks have argued (legitimately) about the failures of the academic support programs in serving the student-athletes' needs and, in many cases, cheating them out of an education. Add to these arguments the astronomical sums of money being spent on the athletic programs which could otherwise provide untold numbers of scholarships for deserving students in dire need of financial assistance. I get these arguments and tend to agree with their proponents.

On the matter of athletic departments heavily investing in academic support infrastructure, however, I must diverge, greatly, from the faculty line. For all the ills of intercollegiate athletics, any movement which emphasises scholastics and advances the athletes' pursuit and achievement of a college degree should be welcomed with open arms.

Better still, how about the fact that these academic support centers are being built largely on the backs of the athletes for whom they're intended to serve. Without the athletes, there would be no ticket sales, tv contracts, booster donations, bowl berths, March dancing, etc...

With all the money that's being made by the schools, coaches, networks, and everyone else displaying the schools' logos, I can't see why the athletes shouldn't get a slice of the action; if not in dollars, degrees should suffice, at the very minimum. Especially considering that many of the football and basketball athletes (the real money makers) arrive on campus significantly disadvantaged from their peers, this one should be a no-brainer.

While it would be infinitely naive to think the faculty and athletics administrators will ever live in complete harmony with one another, the issue of academic support centers should not strike a sour note with the faculty (issues of oversight and academic integrity aside). It makes one wonder if they're not tone deaf to all things athletic anymore.

As if Lynch needed more on his plate

2008-12-18T16:23:00.000-05:00

Just breaking from the Scoop:

An Indiana University football player was arrested Thursday on preliminary charges related to a strong-arm robbery reported Wednesday night.
Courtney “Cortez” Alan Smith, 18, faces preliminary charges of robbery and burglary, both B-felonies.

Great. Turn off the Eazy-E and give the wallets back because you never know when you'll come across a real BMF.

Up in Smoke

2008-12-18T10:27:00.000-05:00

And just when I felt it was safe to assume last year's season went down the tubes largely because of Sampson's ouster, Rabjohns gets EJ to correct me and say the season went up in smoke.

No real shocker that some boys in candy stripes were chronically challenged. I think most people suspected drug use was behind the early-season suspensions of Bassett and Crawford. EJ's dad had already said as much.

I do find it surprising, however, that so many people can easily link the drug use on last year's team to the reason for their tragic downfall.

Newsflash: the boys from Chi-town weren't the only ones on the team partying last year, and they're now merely in the company of countless former players to partake in such behavior while in Bloomington. I can personally tell you Smallwood has seen at least one NBA draft pick, not named EJ, passing the bong- I've seen the pics to prove it.

Sampson's boys were no less susceptible to these indiscretions than were Davis' or Knight's. Jay Edwards ring a bell? Sherron Wilkerson? How about that time Moye was stumbling about Kirkwood Ave., yelling loudly how he loved to "drink, smoke weed, and (fornicate)?" I had the pleasure of witnessing that one with my own eyes. Classy.

The fact of the matter is that our athletes are no less human than the average IU student. They'll drink, smoke, pop some study pills, bed-hop, and blow off a class occasionally. The only meaningful differences here are our unyielding expectations of them and their complete lack of anonymity around campus. Everybody knows who they are, and everyone wants to be their buddies. Hence, unlike the average IU student, athletes are always being lavished with booze, blunts, blow(?), and even boobies.

Remember that adage about the corrupting influence of power? It applies to student-athletes, too. Should we really expect anything else from a bunch of 18-23 year olds?

I'll agree with TacoJohn that this new revelation has significantly increased my respect for EJ. If anyone had strangers beating down their door to become their next best friend (or bed-mate), it was EJ. I've always felt the kid was unreal, but his off-the-court decisions truly bolster this perception of him.

I am wondering, however, what compelled Gordon to put the team's demise on the backs of the partying crew, and, thereby, defend the coaches' responsibility for the matter. If drugs were such an issue with this team and ultimately caused its destruction, why did this spectacular implosion commence only after Sampson was canned? Were they just not as stoned until Feb. 22nd? And when EJ says, Sampson “tried to stop it,” but the coach “was just so focused on basketball and winning and everything,” isn't that really just saying Sampson was so preoccupied with keeping his job that he put winning above everything else that's valued at IU?

Yeah, that's about what he's saying, but in a way that doesn't hold Sampson to account for his players' drug usage, failing grades, and general disciplinary issues. No foul in sticking up for an old coach, but I gotta wonder why AB's departure from UAB must now open the flood gates for more piling on the guys that left.

Oh well, better to leave this roach unlit and let the boys attempt to get on with their lives. Lord knows they didn't hold up so well under the scrutiny Sampson's misdeeds placed upon them.

Wait a minute! Come to think of it, was Crawford really stoned all those times on defense last year?!? I seem to remember he frequently would lose his man and only realize it about the time the ball was passing through the net. That might explain some things....I wonder...

Conference Me In

2008-12-16T09:22:00.000-05:00

*This is a re-post, originally on the Scoop 11/26/08, to test my fledgling blogging abilities. Enjoy & let me know whatcha think!

As many things were left unsaid in the Committee on Infraction’s report (and preclusive press conference) as were stated. For all the mitigating and exacerbating factors specifically cited in support of the committee’s decision, just as many factors were specifically ignored or generally danced around.

By this point, most people in the free world know how Indiana University and Kelvin Sampson arrived where they are today.

Kelvin Sampson was on the hot seat, and Indiana knew what it was getting into when it hired Sampson. He knew what he had done was wrong, and Indiana knew what it was supposed to do after hiring a wrong-doer. He intentionally did it again and then lied about it. Indiana wasn’t ready or eager to catch him, but they gave him a phone anyway.

Once the fit hit the shan, Sampson was allowed to coach more than half a season before IU pressed the self-destruct button. The whole program was nuked. Only 2 players would remain (a current and former walk-on). Everybody else associated with the team was drafted, kicked off, flunked off, or, most commonly, paid off.

The whole world watched as IU’s once-mighty moral towers were crumbled as minor infractions turned major. Half a century coming, the Sampson saga was the Halley’s Comet of hoops infractions.

This much we knew before the conference and report’s release.

Now, we know that no one should ever think about crossing the COI. Failing to comply with the Committee is about "as serious as it gets.” When it comes to the NCAA, probation violations are now a capital offense.

Sampson’s argument that “they were just phone calls” at OU didn’t hold up so well in 2006. Saying the same thing and, in the alternative, adding that IU “should have caught him sooner,” went even worse in 2008.

And by the way, Rick, the NCAA wants to see more parole officer and less palling around from A.D.’s who hire offenders. Ideally, you should assume this role the minute you sign the parolee to contract and not go by the honor system for the first several months of the offender’s employment.

Speaking of Rick, we knew forcing Senderoff and Sampson to resign would likely lessen the NCAA’s blow on IU, but will we ever know what factor Greenspan’s forced resignation played in the Committee’s mitigation equation? No one asked this question of Potuto yesterday. Moreover, would the matter have escalated to the point it did had IU fired Sampson (and possibly Greenspan) upon first discovering the violations? Again, unasked.

Add the above questions to the list of things that we’ll probably never know. Under the NCAA’s kangaroo courts, state employees can be terminated for violating NCAA rules, yet the transcripts and records surrounding their investigation are not public record. Just like amateurism has been made into a farce by the NCAA, so too is the premise of open government when it involves NCAA-governed sports at public institutions.

In all fairness to the fans of IU basketball and the taxpayers of Indiana, we have a right to discover all the evidence which was gathered as a part of these proceedings. The highest paid employee of the State of Indiana was fired for breaking rules, the evidence supporting this conclusion is only available to the extent that the NCAA wishes it to be. This is a travesty.

How much clearer would the picture be were we to learn exactly what Jerry Green had to say about the matter? As far as I can tell, he was the only one who regularly met with Sampson and compliance. He was the staff liaison for compliance. With 30+ years of coaching experience, I’m guessing he knew a rat when he saw one. Tell me again why he left IU after only 1 year?

What did our compliance officers say in regards to the support they received from the administration in holding Sampson accountable to his enhanced enforcement? It seems Greenspan wanted everybody to be friends, not necessarily effective overseers. What led the committee to this conclusion?

I’m less concerned about holding people’s feet to the fire on these matters as I am reluctant to see us repeat the mistakes in the future. (See Sampson’s hiring process for further illustration of this point.) Likewise, I believe the public has a right to know why we’re paying millions of dollars of public money in severance to people who knowingly and purposefully violated the terms of their employment. We paid millions to guys who were either cheats or complete incompetents. Where is the oversight and accountability for these indefensible decisions?!?

Save me the argument about a cost savings in avoiding protracted attorney expenses. You postpone any wrongful termination hearings until after the governing body (NCAA) has adjudicated the matter (guilty 11/26/08) and tell the guy to jump off a cliff when afterwards he says you were wrong to fire him and now owe him more money.

Top to bottom, this has been a travesty, a complete debacle. Hoosiers have been bled nearly to death as the NCAA extracted its pound of flesh from the most revered institution in the state. If the NCAA were truly concerned with putting the interests of the student-athlete first, they would use this situation as a case study in how not to protect student-athletes from the indiscretions of the adults around them. We can never feel sorry enough for those (few) players last year who went to class, gave their all on the court, and generally sacrificed their private lives for us, only to be undercut at the finish line by the NCAA and their own administration. Their losses can never be redressed.

Now it is finally over. We’ve come Crean. The wounds have been closed and the healing can commence. We will scab and, eventually, scar. With any luck, it will be the next time Halley’s Comet comes around before the words “infraction” and “Indiana” are ever muttered in the same sentence again.

Maybe if we knew a little bit more about how we got here in the first place, we could ensure this would only be a once in a lifetime occurrence.