A Birthday Fit For A Badmotherfucker

If you ask either my mom or the Monroe County Health Department, they will happily confirm that this Friday is my birthday.  And unlike those other 364 days of the year where my preferences generally don't mean shit to, well, most everybody I encounter, I'm seizing the opportunity this year to take full advantage of the privileges traditionally conferred upon the birthday boy. So, in a nod to Drew Magary's Father's Day itinerary, I'm scheduling out my day in advance and would appreciate it if those involved would just see to it that it happens exactly as I fucking choose, for a change. 

7:13AM- Wife wakes up without having to hit snooze (x2).  After dressing and using the bathroom with ninja-like stealth, returns to bed without waking me. She's feeling frisky.  I rise; she shines.  We repeat. 

7:36AM- Having achieved a climax that registers on the seismic station in Evansville, I instantly return to R.E.M. sleep and finish off crazy flying dream for 1st time ever. 

The Shit I Say: A User's Guide

So I've got this blog. And whenever people find out about it, I'm inevitably asked, "what's that all about?"

"Well, it's the shit," I say. "If you like IU, you should check it out.  I try to put some interesting stuff on it."

Then I'll usually throw in some self-depreciating comment to lower the expectations if they do chose to visit, and it usually ends there.

But the other day I was reading another blog I really enjoy on its 3rd birthday.  And in recanting how the blog started with a story about Bud Mackey, Alex mentioned that, in hindsight, an introduction might have been in order first.  (I still say leading anything off with the #KSAS is a surefire recipe for success).

The Pitch: Beyond Titties, Beer, & Banners

It turns out today was a popular day for pitching IU.

First, Kravitz started the day by making a tongue-in-cheek attempt at impartiality in not suggesting a school for Cody Zeller.

Then, after Indiana Elite's morning tilt at the Adidas Invitational, Austin Etherington got straight to the point and said his top priority this summer was to "get Cody." You can see it for yourself, thanks to the dedicated work of Inside the Hall. 

But as I sat in the main gym at North Central High School and stared at the life-sized cut-outs of former Indiana Mr. Basketball winners Eric Gordon, AJ Ratliff, and Jason Gardner adorning the wall, I felt the need to expand on these pitches for Zeller to IU.  There's a lot at stake for all parties, and I've never been one to shy away from resolving conflicts.